When I hear "Yes means No" or "No means Yes" I shake my head. When did this happen? When did the English language get turned around, like looking into a mirror?
Because I know, and ask anyone who knows me, when I say NO...yup, you better stop and if you don't.... I don't want to hear anything that sounds like, "But..." or "But I thought you were kidding..." or "Gee, don't you have a sense of humor?" or "You're soooo sensitive..." or "Get over yourself!" or "Come on, lighten up!" or (LOL) "You made me do it..." That's the best one: You made me do it!
Ladies...and Gentlemen, if this sounds familiar, you may be with a bully, or you may be a bully. When someone says NO or STOP...what follows may end you up in jail or in a law suit, or out in the dog house to say the least.
STOP means STOP. It's one syllable, four letters: STOP!
NO, well, NO is one syllable also, and only two letters...
I suggest that when you hear these words, you put your hands down, close your mouth, or step on the brake. Or all three. Don't ask any questions, don't even try to think, just react by ceasing and desisting whatever you are saying or doing.
If you are engaged in a heated discussion and one of the participants or observers says STOP or NO, then listen and do it. If it is really heated, then the one who does not STOP will ultimately become the culpable party.
Think about the extent of domestic violence or physical, verbal and emotional abuse that would be curtailed--the rapes and date rapes, the crimes of passion, the hurt and damage done to one another.
No does not mean Yes; it does not mean Maybe; it does not mean I'll think about it; and it does not mean ask me again tomorrow. No means... yup, you got it. No means No.
Be SMART, behave MATURELY, date WISELY, live HAPPILY! More to come!
About the Author: Barbara Kennedy, MPH, MSW, is a well-known relationship coach, prominent speaker, and public health educator with a private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. Her new book is “Baby Boomer Men Looking for Love.”
"Sometimes you need to talk before you walk."