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How To Talk To Your Son About Masturbating

How To Talk To Your Son About Masturbating [EXPERT]
Sex, Family

Talking to your teen about masturbating can be difficult. Use this advice to make it easier!

Dear Dr. Greenberg,

I have an embarrassing situation going on in my home. My son is 15 years old, and for the past month I have walked in to my home while he was masturbating in the living room. Just yesterday, he fell asleep after doing it on his bed with the door open. I am also noticing lotion or spray on his shirts. I do not know how to handle this. Should I confront him about it? 

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You asked a very sensitive and thoughtful question. It is normal for your teenage son to be exploring his sexuality through masturbation. I can assure you that he is in the good and plentiful company of teenagers everywhere. Like you, I am concerned that he will masturbate publicly in the living room and in his bedroom with the door open.

I think that you must talk to him, but not in a way that shames and embarrasses him. Instead, speak to your son in a way that educates him. In a calm and sensitive manner. Be conscious of his budding sexuality and talk to him about how masturbation is normal. Tell him that it is a private behavior, that should be confined to private spaces with the door closed. Let him know that you will knock on his bedroom door before entering to ensure his privacy. 

I am not sure why he is masturbating in public parts of the house. Is it possible that he wants feedback about whether or not his behavior is normal, or that he has not learned about "masturbation etiquette?" He may be using the lotion as a lubricant and perhaps the spray is his best attempt to remove stains. I am not sure, but I don't think that it is necessary to inquire about this. Good luck as you approach this very sensitive topic. 

My Best,

Dr. G.

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This article was originally published at Psychology Today. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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