Advice from a psychologist on how to inject romance into the routine of your daily life.
As a positive psychologist, I wish I could say that for most of us, every day feels great. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Most of us go through ordinary days. We get up the same time, we eat the same breakfast (or no breakfast), rush to work and then proceed to get through another day. Once in a blue moon, the day is full of fun and excitement. Perhaps, that's the day special friends visit or the first day of our vacation or the day we get wonderful medical news, and the world just seems to expand and open up for us again.
The real question from my vantage point as a positive psychologist is: Why can't every day feel more like a good romance novel? Why can't every day have some zing to it; the excitement and expectations we often feel when we're reading a romance? We aren't even the participants. In fact, we are merely voyeurs. And in reality, unless the book is a memoir, the characters themselves are fictitious. Yet in this fantasy world where the players are not real and we are just watching, we are able to let go and have such a good time! I know that firsthand, having just written Next Year in Jerusalem, Parts 1 and 2. I enjoyed creating the fictional characters and so many people love reading their romantic ups and downs, and all the rest they face in terms of mystery and spiritual unrest.
What a strange kettle of fish the human mind is! But all is not lost. It's possible to make more of our days feel as great as when we're reading a new romance book. Here are three ideas for you to try:
1. Give up the notion of multi-tasking for at least part of each day. Research has proven that us humans don't multitask very efficiently and that trying to do more than one thing at once makes us lose an in-depth connection to whatever we're doing.
2. Stop and observe the world a few times a day even for a moment. Just stop and look around. Right now, I truly see the sun shining on my neighbor's truck and house, and the effect of the shadows, because I stopped for a moment. It's amazing how one shadow is such a straight line against the white siding. Oh no, the sun went down and now the line is gone as if it had never existed! I never would have noticed that if I hadn't taken a minute to truly be present in my world. Keep reading...
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