I am often asked the following question, “How do I learn to say “no” sometimes?”
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As a Law of Attraction Life Coach, I believe that the best way to answer this question is to get to the core of it, which I believe is to ask instead, “Am I making this choice based on approval, or from my authentic self?”
Let me explain.
At some point in time, we have all had the experience of being asked a question, given a request, felt somehow pressured into doing something that deep down, we just didn’t feel good about. And yet, we said “yes” anyway. Immediately following, a sense of remorse came over us, we felt like we could have said no, we should have said no, or at least we should have said “I’ll think about it”. Maybe we even would have said no if only we were prepared and not caught off guard.
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The truth is, we often fall into a habit of doing what others ask of us without stopping to think about what this choice will require of us and we move into autopilot because we feel that it’s what we should do, even when we don’t want to. But even more so, we choose based on a sense of approval, instead of authenticity. Simply put, if we’re having a hard time saying no, is it because we’re more concerned about what others think about us, versus how we think about ourselves, or, it’s more important that you like me and approve of me, than for me to be true to whom I am and do what’s right for me. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times for doing things that perhaps we don’t want to do, but when it becomes a habit that leaves us feeling tired, drained, overwhelmed, and hurts our confidence because we just can’t say no, then it’s time to stop and take stock of how we are making our choices, so that we can choose anew, and this time, choose deliberately.