I thought it would be fun to look at some of the emotional, physical and sexual stages of a woman ranging from the most impressionable to the most enlightened and come up with some practical solutions to help empower her. Below are four categories to make it easy to differentiate, but of course there are women who fit into more than one category. Which do you identify with the most?
#1 The Impressionable Woman may be:
- Newly wed
- High energy
- New mom
- Unable to orgasm
- Sexually experimental
Your body should be in its peak and this is the time to start taking good care of it. I have an analogy that I like to use for our body and that is that this is the car we have been given on this planet so we better service it regularly. Whether you have a sleek sports car, a luxury sedan, compact, or a truck, it’s up to you to keep it running. Have regular check-ups, listen to your body, eat healthy, exercise, and enjoy sex and intimacy with someone who is worthy.
What you need to know:
Accept and love your body. There is no such thing as a "normal" size, shape, look, or style. It’s time to overcome any guilt or shame about feelings of sexual desires, dreams, fantasies, and arousal because these feelings and experiences are healthy, natural, and essential for a healthy and happy woman to thrive.
Learn about your own body inside and out. This includes knowing where your clitoris is, getting familiar with your monthly cycle and how secretions change, but most importantly how you respond to different types of sexual stimulation. In fact this applies to your entire body, so take the time to discover all of your erogenous zones because you are covered in “hot spots” from head to toe and there is no way that you can communicate your personal turn-ons to a lover if you haven’t discovered them for yourself.
Find out when and what makes you sexually aroused because the greater your awareness of your body, the more you’ll be able to enjoy it and the better it will work. In addition, if your future lover has not developed the skill to stimulate you to orgasm, you can show them how to do so or you can simply achieve an orgasm on your own. You won’t need to rely on or expect your lover to fulfill your sexual needs.
Always take responsibility for your own pleasure and orgasm, do not expect your lover to give it to you because sexual arousal begins between the ears and then it flows between the legs. So ladies, get into a juicy state of mind and you can sex yourself up anytime you want. If you have never experienced an orgasm, you may be suffering from gynecological, hormonal or even neurological disorders, but more commonly you could have a psychological block such as:
- Traumatic past sexual experience
- Fear of losing control of yourself
- Resentment towards your partner
- Feeling guilty about sex
- Fear of pregnancy
- Fear of intimacy
- Fear of failure
- Fear of rejection
- Ignorance about your bodies responses
- Lack of stimulation
- Low self-esteem and self-worth
- Being too inhibited
- Poor communication
- Unrealistic expectations
Always seek the help of a professional doctor or therapist if you are suffering from any kind of distress or disorder.
#2 The Professional Woman may be:
- Career minded
- Juggling marriage & career
- Mother with needy kids
- Daughter with needy mother
- Biological clock is ticking
- Enjoys mental stimulation
- Sophisticated and savvy buyer
- Wants to take sex to a higher level of intimacy
Today more than ever, women are highly respected and sought after in the world of business. Many women choose to have a successful career before embarking on motherhood while others focus on family. Either way, it’s a time in your life where you want to experience meaningful emotional and sexual relationships. That’s not to say a “quickie” can’t be satisfying but the deeper connection you can only get through mental stimulation is what turns a lot of professional women on. At this point in your life, you are more sexually confident, comfortable asking for what you want, and not afraid to go after it.
What you need to know:
If this sounds like you, then you probably have several roles including professional worker, housewife, mother, daughter, and lover just to name a few. That’s quite a balancing act so it’s important to keep your life in balance. It’s essential to do an inventory of the time you actually spend in different categories which include time with your family, work, social, personal relaxation, and intimate time with your lover. Sometimes it can become necessary to make an appointment for romance and sex. You must make it a priority in your life because you know you deserve it and in the end none of your accomplishments will mean as much as the loving memories that you have created. Even your kids will grow up, fall in love, and leave home.
Don’t get caught up in a common scenario where some women lose sexual desire after childbirth and never rekindle the passion they once had with their lover.