Do you have a case of the "When I haves?" That tripped-up way of thinking goes something like this: "When I have that job," or "When I have that relationship," or "When I have that money . . . then I will be happy." It's a dangerous habit that leads to depressing, self-perpetuating thoughts like, "When will I get there?" and "Why am I not there yet?"
Obsessing over future outcomes always causes discomfort. Incessant worry creates an idol out of future outcomes. You place the outcomes on a pedestal, proclaiming, "When I have that, I will be happy." Or worse, you tell yourself that because you don't have it now, your life totally sucks and you start to believe that you will never be happy.
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Fortunately, there are three steps to escaping the "When I have" mentality.
- Take the focus off yourself. By choosing to shift your focus from a "woe is me" mindset to one that focuses instead on "how I can help others," you immediately blast into another dimension. You will be brought back to your true reason for being on this planet: to give and receive love. By shifting your focus off of yourself you will quickly feel a sense of relief. You will feel calmer as you begin to release your obsession with the future. Most importantly, you will get out of your own way and become of service to someone else.
- Calm down. Embrace the concept that you are right where you need to be. Think about it. Can you remember a time in your life where you thought you'd never survive the situation you were in? In retrospect, can you now find some serenity in that past situation? If so, you may now understand that you wouldn't be where you are today without the difficulty of past circumstances. If so, use these past examples as impetus to begin accepting your current life circumstances as learning opportunities for your future. Have faith that there's a plan greater than yours that will guide you to serenity.
- Stop thinking and start connecting. That is, connect to the Universe. The Universe is a constant flow of energy, always creating, supporting and attracting. The same energy that makes the planets revolve around the sun also lives inside you. This energy is vibrating through you at all times. When you are vibrating with fear, the energy of the Universe is attracting more fearful outcomes to you. When you are vibrating from a place of faith, you are guided to outcomes that are in alignment with the calm state that faith provides.
The way to positively co-create with this Universal energy is through daily prayer and meditation. A daily practice of prayer and meditation will help calm your thoughts and bring you into the present moment. By calming your mind you calm your energy. As a result, you end up in a much better state for attracting better outcomes. This phenomenon is called co-creating with Universal energy.