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How do you recognize love after you recover from Divorce?

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How do you recognize love after you recover from Divorce?
It is often so scary to trust someone after a divorce from a marriage that seemed everlasting.

You know being divorced is just a means to end a chaotic marriage that is not working out for yourself or the children and can often even negatively affect your career or job.  However, after the dust settles and your heart heals and the therapy has finally worked in your life, how do you trust somoene again?    Where do you get the courage to put your heart out there on the line again?    It can honestly be a bit challenging to go from post-divorce to opening ones heart up again in hopes that the right person is just around the corner when you have put the bad demons of the past to rest in your life. 

I have noticed that no matter how hard this question is, the reality of the answer comes from a real self assessment and honest check point to feel secure about moving on from a bad marriage.   I always salute people who can seem to never have a empty home.  I mean I have tried many times to get a good woman that I thought would be great to be steady in my life.   In my fantasy, lets see, there is Beyonce, Rihanna, Halle Berry and of course Heidi Klum and Eva Longoria.  But in my reality, I did not list the average non celebrity woman nor did I list someone that could be a great catch that I see everyday that I did not even give the opportunity to get to know.   It is in this knowledge that I am finding that most men and women as well seem to think they have to have a celebrity type to feel they have arrived at true love the second time around after divorce.  I personally beg to defer, as you read in the previous paragrapgh most of those women listed, the average guy would never meet or date just due to the reality of life.

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Therefore, I say let your everyday life and those around you be the best realistic goals of interaction when it comes to dating after divorce.  It may amaze you that the greatest romance that you will ever know could be across town, at the local church, working in the library or just walking in the park.   In other words, life is a realm of realities of average everyday people that make social life like dating, friendship and even remarriage something to be desired.   It is not the celebrities that you should try to immulate, truth be told, most celebrities are really trying to have your everyday life with love as a token not a circumstance because they are celebrities.  

In conclusion, it stands to recognize that true love after divorce is about self evaluation and truthfully purifying yourself of the unrealistic variables that do not qualify as love at all.    It means that as long as you have someone that can accept your flaws your failures as well as your mistakes and even your life with your lovely chldren; then allowing yourself to love and give your heart to that individual may not be a bad thing at all.   It all comes down to your reality and what you want and need within that will determine who and what you atrract. This will allow you to share your life even after divorce on the road to trusting yourself to find marriage and happiness once again.

Article contributed by
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Author Dr. John Bell

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http://www.drjohnebellbooksandmusic.com

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Location: Oakland, TN
Credentials: Other
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