It’s been said that if you’ll love yourself, no one else will, either. Maybe that’s not quite true, but when it comes to falling in love, it certainly is true that you will have an easier time of it — and will be much more likely to find lasting, true love — if you love yourself BEFORE you try to find that “special someone.”
You might be saying, “I can’t do that; I’m not lovable but because of X, Y, and Z.” Hogwash! We all have imperfections, and we all have faults. Learn to embrace yours. Be realistic about them, as well. Unless you’re a serial killer, it’s not likely that you are TRULY unlovable.
The problem is, if you don’t love yourself, that comes across big-time to other people. And that’s especially problematic if you’re looking for “Mr. Right.” After all, have you ever heard any guy rave, “I just met the most WONDERFUL unlovable woman last night!”?
Not, right? So before you find someone to love YOU, you have to learn to love yourself.
How do you do that, though? Figure out what you like about yourself and what makes you unique, and then learn to embrace all of that. To do that, you have to get in touch with yourself. Some things you can do to get in touch with and learn to love yourself include:
Too often, when we talk to or write to other people, we’re pretending. We’re trying to be who we think people want us to be, instead of who we really are. Make it a point on a daily basis to write in a journal and say WHATEVER you want. Let your guard down; be completely free. Gripe, moan, complain — and talk about good things, too. Write in your journal as though you’re talking to a really good friend who’s never going to judge you and accepts you unconditionally.
Then, when the time is right, you can also try to turn this one-way “conversation” into a two-way conversation. If you feel comfortable doing so, once you’ve moaned and complained about everything that’s going on, become that same “thoughtful friend” you’ve just envisioned, and give “yourself” some answers, as well as support and unconditional acceptance. Remember: No one is ever going to see this, so be completely honest and open.
Giving yourself compliments
If you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to think of even ONE good thing about yourself, but that’s exactly what you should do. Pick just one good thing about yourself and then make sure you remind yourself of it, at least twice a day: once in the morning before you get up, and once at night before you go to bed. Thinking well of yourself is a habit — and you can learn how to do just that, one compliment at a time.
Accepting compliments from others
Unfortunately, women who don’t feel good about themselves won’t accept compliments from others even when they do get them. So the next time someone compliments you on something, simply say “Thank you,” and accept it. The more comfortable you get accepting compliments, the more likely you are to see your value and come to love yourself for who you really are.