Summer is notorious for flings. Take Sandy and Danny from Grease – they made the most of their long summer nights together when they thought they’d never see each other again. But when reality showed up and they discovered they had to survive in each others’ worlds, true feelings came crashing down. While some vacation liaisons do end up as successfully as theirs, the way real people handle the consequences of boiling desires doesn’t exactly mirror the movies.
No matter what you say, emotions are involved.
From gregarious, teen spring-breakers looking for quick hook-ups to newly divorced adults aiming for a few moments of living vicariously, casual flings on vacation often end up being less casual than one might hope.
Men and women feel chemistry differently and express it differently. In order for a woman to be ready for sex, she typically needs to feel open and connected with the man. A man is a man usually game for having sex if he is merely physically attracted to the woman.
We recommend that sexual involvement occur when both parties feel comfortable and safe with each other. While there’s no “right” time to take the sexual plunge – a few dates or a few months – it’s always best if the early stages of dating are navigated first in order to properly prepare for the mental and emotional aspects of intimacy.
But when it comes to vacations, the stages of dating are pretty much thrown out the window. People head to exotic locales and dreamy destinations in search of one-night-stands and whirlwinds of dramatic passion. They want to make their vacation worth it and have stories to take home and tell their grandchildren decades down the road.
Man meets woman in a smoky bar, first names are exchanged, and not long after they are barreling into a hotel room, heaving with desire, consumed with lust. Isn’t that how things are often portrayed on-screen? There’s a very good chance that reveling vacationers are imagining their upcoming encounters in a similar fashion. But it’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy of a vacation fling.
A little something called the morning-after syndrome …
When a man has strong chemistry with a woman, he will do what he can to impress her and be with her. On vacation, this can translate to him wooing her with drinks, flirtatiousness, and compliments galore. But as he gets to know the woman (if there is even enough time for the opportunity to get-to-know-you talk), his interest may fade. The initial attraction suddenly turns different in the bright light of the morning.
Women, on the other hand, typically experience attracted to a man mentally, emotionally, and then physically. Her morning-after syndrome can vary drastically from his. She may assume that his physical attraction to her must mean that he is also into her on a mental and emotional level – just like she’s into him. As he’s getting ready to bolt, she may be daydreaming of the leisurely time they will spend together for the rest of her adventure. And then, poof, he’s gone and she’s left feeling deflated and baffled.
So what’s a woman to do if she “can’t” get intimate with a handsome stranger without suffering heartbreaking consequences? Well, no one is saying that a woman can’t live a little – that’s what vacations are for, after all. And we’re definitely not implying that a man is the only person who can have some intimate fun without repercussions.
It’s simply important for a woman to be aware of her behavior and how it’s affecting her emotionally when embarking on a vacation that she intends to pepper with sexual flings. We’re talking about Mars and Venus here – men are still men and women are still women – behaviors and interpretations are traditionally not similar, especially when it comes to sex.
If a woman is undeniably attracted physically to a man she’s just met, that’s a-ok. A woman can run with this feeling and enjoy the intimacy on vacation, but she needs to remember that she’s experiencing the blowtorch effect. A man has turned her on physically immediately and this is a clear sign that she is more interested in the fantasy of him than in the man himself.
Daydreams are worth it. They’re fun and they’re exciting. But if a woman’s heart is delicate on her vacation, she needs to treat it with care and tread cautiously.Have fun, but be mindful of the consequences.
Whether you’re male or female, if you find yourself on vacation with a burning question about an encounter that’s about to happen or has already happened and now has you confused, don’t hesitate to call an Ask Mars Venus coach. Our expertly-trained coaches are available seven days a week, 18 hours a day and their advice is solution-oriented. They will provide you with the tools to enjoy the rest of your vacation without questions, doubt, or reservations.