The Problem With Nagging The Ones We Love

And really, you're not; you just want him to stay healthy and be around for the long haul. But, to him, it feels like you're like a dog with a bone and you can't let go.

The big reason nagging is a problem is because of how it makes men feel. In the MarsVenus world we explore how men and women have different primary needs, which really translates into how we want to be loved by our partners. In this case "being nagged" takes away from a man's need for trust, acceptance and appreciation. Reminding him to call his doctor seems like a loving gesture, but to him, your nagging makes him feel as though you don't trust him to take care of the appointment, don't accept that it's actually his job to handle it (not yours), and don't appreciate his efforts. All that from just reminding him to call his doctor!

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Although some nagging is unavoidable, research shows that couples who minimize nagging stand a better chance of being happy over the long term. So does this mean that you should simply let the garbage pile up until the flies show up? Sort of.

From time to time, check in with yourself to consider why the things you nag about are so important to you. Are you reminding him to call the doctor because you need to be in charge? Are you trying to minimize your worries? If so, you need to fix your own anxieties, not make him behave a certain way.

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That said, life and marriage aren't about one person putting his/her feelings aside so the other person doesn't have to face them. Relationships are a 50-50 experience. Just as he doesn't want to be nagged to do things, you don't enjoy having to nag him to get him to do the things he's supposed to do. So, what's a girl to do? Continue reading.