The Problem With Nagging The Ones We Love


The Problem With Nagging The Ones We Love [EXPERT]
A closer look at the communication breakdown that leads to nagging ... and what to do about it.

Have you noticed that we don't typically nag the most obvious people in our lives, like our annoying co-workers or irritating neighbors? Rather, we save our nagging for those closest to us ... but why?

There are two main reasons. First, we can't help it. Our manners and cultural filters remind us that nagging our boss is a no-no, but when it comes to our spouses, kids and friends, we just can't stop ourselves. After all, it's just a little help, right?


The problem is, what comes from a loving place can often be perceived as judgment. If your husband were to say to you, "Those jeans are lookin' extra tight lately!" it wouldn't exactly feel good, even if he meant it with love. In fact, if he were to say things like that to you on a regular basis, you might start to doubt that he's actually the right guy for you.

As shocking as it would feel to have your man call you fat, it's equally as hurtful to men when women nag them. The difference is how we do it.

Women tend to share their feelings in more subtle ways. If you were to ask men (and we have!), nagging from a woman is often more like a slow drip from a faucet; it doesn't appear to do all that much harm in the moment, but over time, watch out!

Let's look at an example: Your guy needs to go to the doctor for his annual visit. He hasn't made the appointment, so you remind him. A few days go by and you ask, "Honey, did you call the doctor?" He tells you "no" and that he'll get to it. A few more days go by and you ask again: same response. This goes on for a month. Now, you're annoyed that he's not taking care of himself and he feels like you are constantly in his face telling him what to do. Continue reading.

Go nag-free this week and check out YourTango's Twitter party on Wednesday, November 14 from 2-4 EST!

More love advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ask Mars Venus

Dating Coach

Visit for a 20 minute session with our coaches for only $20

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Ask Mars Venus:

Summer Luvin', Had Me A Blast...


Summer is notorious for flings. Take Sandy and Danny from Grease – they made the most of their long summer nights together when they thought they’d never see each other again. But when reality showed up and they discovered they had to survive in each others’ worlds, true feelings came crashing down. While some vacation liaisons do end up as successfully as ... Read more

Thinking About Talking To A Coach?


Ask Mars Venus dating and relationship coach is—plain and simple—an investment in your love life. Callers talk to coaches about topics like infidelity, divorce, emotional affairs, why he won’t call, why she’s moved on, online dating stress, problems with trust and more. There is no matter too big or too small to conquer with an Ask Mars Venus coach. This kind of ... Read more

How Watching Movies Can Help You Heal


At Mars Venus, we believe that our deepest healing occurs as we work through the four healing emotions: anger, sadness, fear, and regret. Unfortunately, all too often, our resistance to these feelings stalls our deepest healing. While intellectually we may know that feeling our painful emotions helps to release them, many people resist delving into this dark place ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular