Married? 4 Steps That Will Save Your Sex Life

3. Schedule sex. This is a great debate among couples. How can scheduled sex be sexy?

When you schedule sex with your partner, you are stating that your sensual life is important to you, and that you want to carve time out for your partner. You are not just waiting to see if there is enough energy left at the end of the day to give him or her. It also allows for anticipation to build as you get ready, pick special clothes and imagine all the what's and when's. Try scheduling a few sex dates and see if it works for your relationship.

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4. Be spontaneous and try something new. It always feels odd to counsel couples to schedule spontaneous sex. It seems impossible. But the spontaneity that I am referring to is not about when you have sex but what you do during sex. 5 Ways To Keep Married Sex Exciting

Passion and desire stem from the unknown. It is important that each month you add something new to your sex life. I am not talking about a big "new" but rather a small "new." A slight change to the position or location, change the rhythm, turn the lights on or off, say something kinky, or keep some clothes on. These small changes invite the unknown back into your relationship and keep passions alive.

There are many octogenarian couples who report having wonderful and satisfying sex lives. When we hear that, most of us throw a wish into the universe: "I hope that can be us." 5 Secrets Of Happily Married Couples

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It can be. But you need to allow your definition of sex and sexy to change. And, as always, talk with your spouse about these four steps, about sex and about your desires and needs. If this is difficult, consider meeting with a couples counselor to help facilitate these important conversations.