You've spent months making all the arrangements: the flowers, the cake, the dress, the photographer, the music, the food. And oh yes, you found the groom, which is the whole, joyful point of it all. It's almost impossible to imagine that your bliss could slowly but surely dissolve into disagreements, arguments, and disconnect. It may be even harder to imagine that your true love could ever become your worst enemy.
Remember that all divorcing couples started out happy. So how can you ensure that you won't end up just another divorce statistic? How can you attend to your relationship in simple, manageable ways right in the midst of your busy life?
Use these three simple habits every day and you will create a climate of love, connection, and appreciation that will sustain you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.
You Are My Sunshine
Prompt: every morning when you first greet your spouse
Say "I'm so happy that you're my husband" or "I'm so lucky to be married to you." If your mate leaves home before you do, then text those words as soon as you're awake. Having loving sentiments be the first communication of the day is essential to keeping a happy marriage and is far more nourishing than a morning complaint.
Love Me Tender
Prompt: every evening when you reunite with your spouse
Have a long hug (minimum of 20 seconds) and say, "I'm so happy to be home" or "I'm so glad that you're home." It's vital to reconnect after spending the day apart. The long hug actually stimulates the feel-good bonding hormone, oxytocin, through your body. The positive words create a climate of love and gratitude — much more pleasant than a 'to do' list.
Thanks for the Memories
Prompt: when you're going to bed
Thank your spouse for something from the day. You can thank them for doing work that helps pay your bills. Thank them for helping you in some way, or thank them for taking out the garbage. Using this habit every night will create a connection of appreciation that will keep your relationship strong even through hard times.
Let these habits be the core of your daily life together. If you use them regularly, for years on end, you will grow and maintain a secure and loving bond with your mate. Before you know it, you'll discover that the honeymoon was just the beginning of a blessed life with your true love.
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