ProConnect

A Room of One's Own

By

A Room of One's Own
A room of your own? It’s a must! Literal or virtual--no matter. It's a gift you give yourself.

“Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt
that
you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own


Altogether there were three: two boys and a girl, obviously bright, interested in life, wanting to make something of themselves, hoping to give back in a significant way. More than a week earlier they had asked to meet with me. I found them stimulating and young: At ages 18 and 19, teetering on the brink of adulthood, their brains were obviously not “done” yet. However, their energetic enthusiasm filled my office and ricocheted off the walls.

More from YourTango: Why You Should Forgive Your Cheating Ex

“We have a problem,” said Neil.

“Yeah,” echoed Nels and Anita in chorus. "A BIG problem."

The problem was that each came from large families of relatively low-economic status. “We have no rooms of our own,” explained Neil. “There’s usually chaos at my house.” The other two nodded emphatically. “And when I finally do go to bed,” Neil continued, “both my brothers snort and snore like Puff the Magic Dragon.” I had to laugh, unaware that Puff had been either a snorter or a snorer.

“Exactly,” said Nels. “We need space.”

“A place to think,” added Anita. “A place to figure things out.”

The three glanced around my office. “Not much space here,” said one. “Where do you think?”

“I think in my head,” I said. “I don’t need much space.”

“Well, I need space,” said Anita. “You know, a room of one’s own.”

Their problem and her comment took me back. Way back.

Among the writings of Virginia Woolf, one of her most famous is the essay, A Room of One’s Own. Born originally out of concern about the position of women (especially professional women), its bigger picture challenges all individuals. Every person needs a room of one’s own: a place to examine life, to dream, to figure out whom one was meant to be, to plot one’s direction and craft one’s journey.

Philosophers have spoken to the need for self-examination. Socrates reportedly went so far as to proclaim that an unexamined life wasn’t worth living!

I understood what the three young adults were saying. You need always to be exploring. The desired outcome will be to arrive where you began and, perhaps, truly know yourself for the first time. A room of your own is essential. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a literal space in your present abode—although that’s ideal. It can be a virtual room, a place to which you can retreat at any time, anywhere.

More from YourTango: Movies of Your Mind or I Spy With My Little Eye

I’ve had both.

The builder of my childhood home probably never intended the space to be a room, just a pause between the first and second stories. However, jutting out over the back porch, this ten-foot-square landing pad provided a near-perfect retreat for a teenage girl. My personal Camelot!

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

Should I stay or Should i go? 5 Ways To Make The Best Decision

Are you confused about staying or going in a relationship? Read on...

shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS