Are you someone who feels certain that you can size up a man (or a woman) in 30 seconds and know whether or not they are your soulmate? Before I met Brian I would have said YES to this question.
I was pretty confident that my intuitive skills were that good. Thank God I had other "signs from the Universe" to get my attention when I met Brian because otherwise I might have passed up the man of my dreams.
Prior to meeting Brian my "type" was short and unattractive (it's a long story). Brian is tall and handsome, not my "type" so it's possible that I might have spent the first 30 seconds we met thinking to myself, "he's not the one."
Recently my dear friend and dating expert Carol Allen spoke at my one-day workshop and she shared with us that most people are WRONG when they trust their first impressions.
Carol encourages all singles to stop pre-judging and give everyone "who doesn't offend or disgust you" a fighting chance. Carol also reported some very enlightening information on the top three reasons men don't call a woman for a second date:
#1 They find you to be "too bossy." (over-riding his suggestions and/or by giving unasked for advice.)
#2 You appear to be high-maintenance (asking to change tables at a restaurant, grilling the server for every last ingredient in a dish, etc.)
#3 Showing up as uninterested in him or your own life.
Remember, first dates are for light-hearted fun and for getting to know someone. Give them and yourself an opportunity to shine. As Carol says, "don't turn your date into a therapy session!"
She also presented information on the top four ways people meet their marriage partners:
1. It shouldn't come as any surprise that the number one way to meet is through friends. Be sure to share your romantic goals with your nearest and dearest.
2. The second most common way is meeting through groups and organizations. Become a joiner and a doer and seek out groups that share your hobbies, interests and passions.
3. The third way is to meet your future husband or wife at work. (Brian and I met because his business partner was my client!)
4. The fourth and possibly most surprising way people connect is though their neighborhood. If you are living in an area with a lot of singles you greatly increase your chances of connecting.
Carol's most important message about dating is this: Women, it's absolutely ok to be the first one to speak. Be willing to start a conversation with a stranger. Talk to everyone. Be friendly and be open. Be a yes to life. It may sound simple but are you really doing this?
This week think of three small steps you can take to improve your dating life. Is there a group you can join? A new coffee shop to visit instead of your old standby? Are you willing to ask your friends and family to be on the lookout for your future soulmate?
If you could try one new activity, the one thing you've been meaning to do for a long time, what would it be and can you make it happen this week?
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