When you find a man that's compatible and loves his mother and family, it can feel like you've hit the relationship lotto. A family-oriented guy gets extra points because it exhibits how he would be should the two of you get married and have a family in the future. But what happens if he takes the family guy role too seriously to the point of potentially fracturing your relationship with him? A relationship with this type of guy is quite frustrating and complex depending on the scenario. You have the classic case of the mama's boy where she caters to his every need and treats you like you're pure evil in human form. Then there's the case of the meddling mother who doesn't know the meaning of the word privacy. And of course I would be remiss if I didn't mention the mother who treats your man like he's her husband; this type of mom will blow his phone up asking him to do all sorts of things for her at all times of the day and night. Whatever scenario you might be faced with, the point is that your man's priorities to his family somehow always trump the priorities of your relationship which inevitably causes a strain.
While you love the fact that he cares about his family, getting him to understand that there needs to be a balance is not an easy task. So for those of you that have brick walls for boyfriends, here are some valid points for him to consider:
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This is not about choosing sides. Even though it may seem like that's what you're ultimately asking him to do, don't tell him to choose sides. It automatically puts him in a more awkward situation and if provoked enough, he won't choose you. His family will always be his family whether you're in the picture or not. Understand that first and things will be a lot easier to manage.
A woman wants a man. This is pretty much self-explanatory. If a man constantly consults his family, especially his mother, for every small thing or won't respectfully create boundaries, it makes it look like he can't make a decision on his own or be his own man. Trust me, no woman is looking for a boy who is trying to pretend like he's a man.
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Like bras, women need some support. Combining the family dynamic with your romantic one is stressful by nature. If the relationship is long-term, a woman likes to know that her man has her back in situations that may not be easy, especially when dealing with difficult family members. If a man constantly fails to find compromise and ends up leaving his woman to fend for herself, she'll feel like she has no support. Does a man need to fight all his woman's battles? No. But when she's trying to tread the waters of dealing with his family, he needs to show that he'll help her stay afloat, not drown.
We can do things your family can't. Unless you're into that sick type of thing where you're messing around with family, I think you get my drift. Keep leaving her by herself and she'll make sure you're doing it by yourself.