What to do when you're not interested

By

What to do when you're not interested
Don't miss meeting great guys because you're not able to confidently walk away from the not so great

You may have avoided talking to at least one great guy because you felt uncomfortable with the prospect of rejecting him if you didn’t like him.

But you can’t discover whether a man might be “the one” if you never meet him. And it’s easier if you can say “Thanks, but no thanks” with confidence and class.

If you just met and you’re not interested, just tell him that it’s been delightful to meet him, but that you must go. You don’t need to say why you have to leave—simply smile and say goodbye.

If he persists and asks for your number, tell him “no” in a kind, honest and unambiguous manner.

  • Be kind: Smile as you thank him for asking.
  • Be unambiguous: Send the message that he needn’t continue to pursue you. Use a phrase he can’t argue with, such as “I’m not available.” If he asks a second time, just repeat yourself. You don’t need to explain further.
  • Be honest: Don’t say that you are too busy to date, have a boyfriend if you don’t, or that you just want to be friends. Your body language or tone of voice is likely to reveal your dishonesty.
  • Keep it short: Don't repeat yourself or apologize.
  • Smile and move on.

Most men want to get to the point. And, if you’re not interested, he’ll usually recalibrate his options and move on. It’s likely to be less painful for him than figuring it out through trial and error.

If you want to get a love life, sign up for Annie’s free Friday Dating Tips. Read more dating advice on Annie’s Blog.
 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Annie Gleason

Dating Coach

Annie Gleason
Get A Love Life
Dating Coaching for Midlife Singles
844 California St.
San Francisco, CA 94108
1-877-745-5678
Check out my latest dating tips at San Francisco Examiner and 50+ Fabulous

Location: San Francisco, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Annie Gleason:

Why Instant Chemistry Can Be A Big Mistake

By

Are you having a hard time finding someone to date? “There is no one here for me.” Lisa frowned as she surveyed the ballroom filled with hundreds of single men and women. “I know some of these guys. They’re all boring. I can tell just by looking.” Lisa places a high value on charm and good looks. She’s horrified to ... Read more

How to Choose an Online Dating Site

By

There is only one reason that you should use an online dating site: Your day-to-day life isn't providing you with the opportunity to meet interesting people to date. Since 35% of all relationships originate online, it makes sense to use it as an opportunity to find romance. If you use in addition to other ways to meet others, you'll vastly increase ... Read more

The Surprising Keys To Demystifying Sex Early On

By

You've finally met someone you find attractive, fun and flirty. Conversation flows effortlessly between the two of you. Your connection is magnetic, and it feels natural to gravitate towards sex. That's when things start to get confusing. If you're a man, you're likely to want to go for it. If you're a woman, you're interested, ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.