What to do when you're not interested
By Annie Gleason. Posted on .
You may have avoided talking to at least one great guy because you felt uncomfortable with the prospect of rejecting him if you didn’t like him.
But you can’t discover whether a man might be “the one” if you never meet him. And it’s easier if you can say “Thanks, but no thanks” with confidence and class.
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If you just met and you’re not interested, just tell him that it’s been delightful to meet him, but that you must go. You don’t need to say why you have to leave—simply smile and say goodbye.
If he persists and asks for your number, tell him “no” in a kind, honest and unambiguous manner.
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- Be kind: Smile as you thank him for asking.
- Be unambiguous: Send the message that he needn’t continue to pursue you. Use a phrase he can’t argue with, such as “I’m not available.” If he asks a second time, just repeat yourself. You don’t need to explain further.
- Be honest: Don’t say that you are too busy to date, have a boyfriend if you don’t, or that you just want to be friends. Your body language or tone of voice is likely to reveal your dishonesty.
- Keep it short: Don't repeat yourself or apologize.
- Smile and move on.
Most men want to get to the point. And, if you’re not interested, he’ll usually recalibrate his options and move on. It’s likely to be less painful for him than figuring it out through trial and error.
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