Single People Can Have a Great Time On Feb. 14

By

Single People Can Have a Great Time On Feb. 14
Activities for single people when not with someone on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s day is an invented holiday that has become fraught with expectations and promises along with hurt and fake joy! Let’s challenge the meaning of this once a year time, and stop feeling wasted emotions.

 

 

This one day of the year really has no meaning.  It is a waste of time, energy, emotion, and love!

If you can see that Valentine’s day is no more than a culturally invented, marketing and media-driven day, then you can to stop believing you are missing something if you don’t have a lover. If two people are in love, one day out of the year should have no effect on their feelings. Yet doing the day properly has become a requirement of proving love. If you forget, or don’t bring the right gift, you aren’t considered a thoughtful lover. You can avoid all of those bad times!


A friend created a dramatic marriage renewal in the mountains of Hawaii on a Feb. 14th to reassure her husband. Each said what an incredible, profound day it was. Both were ecstatic They separated and divorced a year later. They were trying to reclaim their love. It didn’t work.

Another couple lead every Feb. 14th as they do every other day of the year. They are still together.

 

MAKE IT A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

If you are healing your way to more pleasing relating with all others, why not include Valentine’s Day? Instead of staying home alone feeling badly, or trying to ignore it, gather several single friends together. But don’t commiserate. Process! Tell each other all about your experiences of this day. The yearning for it, the dread of it, the hurt, the excitement, and the joy that came on different years.

 

THINGS TO TRY

Don’t go out to dinner and watch lovers. Cook with your friends, get takeout, or share popcorn in your home. Question the significance of this day.

Start here:

1. Ask each friend to describe a favorite Valentine’s day. Where is that person you were with? Why aren’t you together?

 

2. What did you or your lover(s) expect to happen at the end of the evening? Was sex part of the “loving” package? If so, was the sex truly agreed to or did it include obligation? Performance?

3. Survey the number of February 14ths in your life. How many were good? How many not? Why were the good ones good? Why were the bad ones bad?

 

4. Look around at your friends. On this one day of the year you don’t have expectations of what they will do for you, do you? And they don’t expect more of you than any other day. Isn’t that a nicer way to be together?  Comment to each other on this experience of this Feb. 14th.

5. Tell each other how you felt as Valentine’s Day approached and you knew you would be “alone.” Embarrassment? Deprivation? Shame? Afraid something is wrong with you? Afraid others will think something is wrong with you? Does meeting with friends seem inferior to a date?

 

Article contributed by

Anne Stirling Hastings

Psychologist

Anne Stirling Hasting, Ph.D. Go to my website for free short stories and healing novels for sale.  Explore continuing education on Working With Clients' Sexual Issues. Please check out my book, Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised to learn how to heal sexuality. Then Healing Humanity to understand shaming, and how to stop taking it on. Create New Love puts it all together to prepare you for your next relationship. Kindle loans Dirty Sex or Clean Sex, a novel, and it's companion, Bring Love and Sex Together The Value of Healing Sexual Shame. Check out Video Conferencing therapy groups for Men's Sexuality, and Avoidant Attachment.

Location: Camarillo, CA
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Anne Stirling Hastings:

Why Being "Naughty" In Bed Is Actually Bad For Your Love Life

By

Shame. It plays a central role in the common language and activities of most sex lives. Sexual shame is actually woven into our collective culture and deeply influences our individiual sexuality. Have you ever noticed—the so-called "normal" language that we use during sex includes so many negative words, doesn't ... Read more

Why Do We Stop Looking Forward to Sex?

By

This is chapter 8 in the novel about Grace learning about sex in the bedroom and in the classroom. Here she interviews women about their lack of interest, and explores what might be going on with their men in the bedroom and how they can rekindle interest! Read the rest of the Transformational Fiction novel, Bring Love and Sex Together, on Kindle. Find more ... Read more

My Date Didn't Want Sex

By

Grace begins her story here, and you can read the whole novel, Bring Love and Sex Together: The Value of Healing Sexual Shame, a Novel, on Kindle. Did he not love her? Or did he love her too much? Why does a man not want sex when he seems to be falling in love? These questions are answered in this Transformational Fiction novel.  You may have read ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular