Addiction To Love And Romance: When He Didn't Call

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Addiction To Love And Romance: When He Didn't Call
They finally have sex. SHE: It's love! HE: She wants too much. SHE: That's just the way men are.

Please join me for Transformational Fiction, stories and novels in which I walk characters through all of these difficult love relationship and sexual issues. Only these characters learn to talk and to resolve what is going on. You get to be the fly on the wall as you see how they heal, and how you might, too. Bring Love and Sex Together, The Value of Healing Sexual Shame is a novel on Kindle. 


Kitty met Matt on an Internet dating site. Where else? She had heard all the stories about men who lied and men who just wanted sex. The coffee dates that turned sour, the second dates that revealed how little they had in common.

 

And then came Matt. He was funny and smart, a real gentleman, and so cute. He flirted, but in a gentle way that was appealing. No pat dating lines. He seemed real.

They went to movies, to dinner, and on hikes. They kissed on the second date, more on the third, and by the forth had agreed to go to his apartment and see what happened next. They ended up in bed.

Kitty found the sex mechanical. Matt seemed distracted, off somewhere. But no matter, sex meant something. He wanted her. He was her boyfriend.

He didn’t call the next day. Or the day after. Kitty believed that the man should be the one to call, and she checked her phone repeatedly even though she knew it would announce the identity of a caller. What was going on? She talked with four friends asking what she should do, what was happening. Here’s what they came up with. He only wanted to score. She shouldn’t have given in. He was busy, give him time. Call him. Write him off and go back on the dating site. Report him to the dating site. Send him an angry email.

Matt liked Kitty when they met for coffee that first time, so he asked her to dinner. It felt good that she liked him a lot, so he asked for a third and forth date. Good that she seemed to like to hike, although she wasn’t in condition and didn’t have good boots.

Then they had sex. It was odd. She seemed frozen. When they kissed it didn’t feel as if their lips were touching, more like following instructions about how to kiss. She took her clothes off, but she hunched forward so he felt as if he were raping her. Matt really wanted to stop but he was afraid she would feel rejected. He thought he had to get an erection and perform, so he touched his penis to help it along. Still not erect, he thought about a past lover. That did it.

Article contributed by

Anne Stirling Hastings

Psychologist

Anne Stirling Hasting, Ph.D. Go to my website for free short stories and healing novels for sale.  Explore continuing education on Working With Clients' Sexual Issues. Please check out my book, Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised to learn how to heal sexuality. Then Healing Humanity to understand shaming, and how to stop taking it on. Create New Love puts it all together to prepare you for your next relationship. Kindle loans Dirty Sex or Clean Sex, a novel, and it's companion, Bring Love and Sex Together The Value of Healing Sexual Shame. Check out Video Conferencing therapy groups for Men's Sexuality, and Avoidant Attachment.

Location: Camarillo, CA
Credentials: PhD
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