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Why His Bedpost Notches Don't Matter

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Why His Bedpost Notches Don't Matter
Here's why don't need to feel uncomfortable about his (or your) sex number ever again.

[Contributed by: Most Brave Girl]

Are you nervous about how many people you’ve slept with? Or nervous that your new gentleman has been quite ungentlemanly with half of the food court? If one of you is on the low end or the high end of the sex partner number spectrum, you might be dealing with some feelings of uneasiness and discomfort. However, there are a several reasons why you don't need to be nervous about it ever again. Ladies, here's some relationship advice we could all benefit from. 

More from YourTango: Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Guys & How To Change

What's the Real Reason?
If you're feeling weird about being the next person on your new partner's list, chances are that your issue boils down to something basically unrelated: either you're jealous of previous partners and insecure about your place on the spectrum of paramours, or you're feeling daunted by their extensive experience, so now you're struggling with feelings of inadequacy. Which category are you in?

If You Can't Take The Heat Don't Make Pancakes
How old is everyone now? You know what, it doesn't matter. No matter your age, you have a past. You've accumulated some sexual baggage, just like everyone else. Essentially everyone approaches a new significant other claiming a spotless sexual slate, but it's a façade. Pretending that your boyfriend is a virtuous, pure-as-the-driven-snow soul is like pretending that this is a maître d’. Or that this is Antonio Banderas: So shiny on the outside, but still an animal within. We're all just filthy, sexual animals. It's not that much fun to think about your man getting down with a bunch of other biddies, but you need to acknowledge it without freaking out.

More from YourTango: The 3 Worst Habits of Mercilessly Annoying Couples

If you're going to be jealous and insecure about every past experience your boyfriend has had, you're going to be miserable forever. At some point (right now), we all just have to throw up our hands and admit that adults do things (like people). Your next flame is probably not going to be a virgin. But who cares? Neither are you. Would you like your new love to judge you because of it?

But I Heard His Last Girlfriend Was a Sex Robot
If you're worried about being compared to past partners, you've got to relax. The only thing stopping you from being a cool sex lady is if you don't try to make him feel good. You just need to learn what he likes. He has had his share of good, bad and boring lovers, but his sexual memories aren't going to dilute the passion that you can bring into the bedroom.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Anna Karimo

Author

Anna can see solutions where others see only blind spots and she strives to help you achieve your goals when it comes to love, dating and relationships; no matter what obstacles you encoutner. Anna is the Founder of Nouveau Dating, where experts strive to answer all of your questions and help you along the way to finding love. Sign up for our newsletters to get the newest dating tips and advice right away!

Talk to me on Facebook.

Tweet me @annakarimo.

To learn more about me check out Anna Karimo. And for help with your online dating profile check out The Perfect Profile today.

Look out for the upcoming releases of Get Him for Life and Love is Everywhere.

Location: Denver, CO
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Anna Karimo:

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