After multiple rejections and disappointments, dating might seem like more trouble than it’s worth. But you have to keep trying! If you go out on no less than 2 dates per week for 3 months, there’s an 80% chance that you’ll find love.
Do the same thing for 6 months, and there’s a 90% chance! However, you need to be motivated to go on all of these dates and maintain a great attitude on each one. Inspiring yourself isn’t as complicated as you might imagine.
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Some scientists maintain that everything you do is because you either want to get a reward or want to avoid a punishment. Think about why you do the things that you do almost every day. You might brush your teeth because you want to avoid the punishment of people thinking you have bad breath, or you want to avoid the punishment of having dental problems. You go to work because you want the reward of money, you don’t want to have the punishment of losing your job, or a mix of both.
Dating is no different. You probably date because you want to be rewarded with finding an amazing relationship. But it’s hard to be motivated if you don’t get instant gratification. It may seem like the immediate reward of sitting at home and watching a funny show might outweigh the long-term reward of finding the love of your life.
If you purchase a latte, you get to drink it almost right away. But if you want to buy a new car, you have to save up enough money and do some research, which could take several months. It’s tempting to have the smaller, instant reward, but you’ll enjoy the large reward much more when you finally get it. You've heard the phrase, 'nothing worth having comes easy.' Dating and finding love is no different.
If you give up on dating, you will have the small reward of having an evening to yourself. But if you don’t give up–if you stick with it for a few months, you’ll have the larger reward of having the love of your life every day.
Which is more desirable: watching love on TV, or finding love in real life? It’s your choice. But I hope that you choose to find real love, because I know what great joy it can bring.
Trouble with motivation? Involve your friends. Social consequences are very influential, so if you tell your friend that you’ll go on a double date with him or her, you’ll be less likely to cancel because you don’t want to upset your friend.
You can also have your friend demand that you give them $25 for every week you don’t go on at least 2 dates. Think of it like a parking ticket. You didn’t do what you were supposed to, and you got fined. Plus, your friend will love those dollars!
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If these won't work for you, create your own motivational solutions. These motivational techniques won’t just help in dating, but can be applied to many of life’s other challenges too.
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