Six key things that all serious, long-term lovers should keep in mind if they want to grow together and deepen their sense of emotional safety and intimacy:
- It’s never about agreeing on everything
- It’s easy to say, “This upsets me.” But it’s not so easy to talk about the deeper meanings that will enable you to become more understanding and more intimate with each other.
- Marriage is like a small business that changes through the life cycle as we grow older. And like all small businesses, a lot of negotiating is required.
- Don’t try to solve the others problems. Just listen to their story. We all just want people to listen to our story.
- Unresolved disagreements infect everything else. They lurk in the background like radio active half-life and ruin potentially good experiences without our even realizing it.
- Rekindling romance can often be done with simple affectionate gestures and tenderness.
All serious lovers in long-term relationships, whether married or living together, tend to forget that it takes creative energy and real effort to keep their relationship interesting, pleasureful and passionate.
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When we meet with couples the first time, we take a full 2 hours to discover the insights that make it easier to apply the above principles in their everyday lives.
It really does take work to have a happy, emotionally satisfying relationship. Andre Moore, M.A., Director of Marriage Couples Counseling and Life Coaching in New York City http://www.marriage-couples-counseling-new-york.com/