How to Hold Hands Through the Chaos, Stay Connected, and Come Out Stronger
When the future is uncertain we tend to feel more stress. Oftentimes, if one member of a couple is dealing with stress or fear the other is as well. Either because it affects both people (like financial or family stress) or because we care about our partner and we worry about them.
Here are 5 tips to be there for each other during times of crisis:
- Listen: Take turns being the one who gets to express how they are feeling and spend ninety percent of the time simply listening. Let your partner talk and really hear them and offer your support. Most of the time you won't be able to solve the problem and it can be even more helpful to give your partner the gift of feeling heard and loved.
- Be Present: When we are sad or stressed or angry it can be enormously comforting to have our trusted partner near us; just being present, offering hugs and being by our side. When we are present to each other we feel a sense of not being alone in our strife. Additionally, if both people in a couple are dealing with a crisis the solidarity of a unified team can ease the burden.
- Choose Gentleness: During tough times tensions may be running extra high in a relationship. It is a perfect time to take the gentle path. Speak gently. Let the small stuff slide on stressful days. Show your caring for one another. Allow both members of the couple the opportunity to be the bearers of loving care and kindness in the relationship. Kindness is a salve to heal a weary heart and soul.
- Keep the Pressure Level Low: Do not expect to be everything for your partner and for him or her to be everything for you. Lean on friends and family too. Allow yourself to receive all the support offered to you from all around and tap into your social and familial resources for emotional support. Encourage your partner to do the same. That way you can be sure that you are both getting what you need and not draining each other in the process.
- Cultivate Joy: Even if you may not feel like it try to get out and have some fun together. Remember the good times and keep those memories fresh by taking a hike, going to the beach or a favorite art museum together. Do the things that bring you joy together to buoy you through the tough times and keep in mind that good times will come again.
Your couple's mantras:
We choose kindness and gentleness in our relationship.
We choose joy in our relationship.