Do You Follow These 4 Relationship Rules?
By Amy Johnson. Posted on .
Clarity around what you want is essential to having what you want. Your end goal is like the destination you program into the GPS — the clearer your final destination, the faster the GPS can get you there.
What kind of relationship do you want? What does it look like? Most important, what does it feel like?
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Feel it and see it now. It's okay to revise or change it later. You can always tweak the exact destination but in order to get things moving, you need to at least know what direction you're headed.
Cutting through fears and expectations so that you know what you really want is not always easy. Listen to the still, small voice, not the raving maniac that threatens you into settling for something less than what you truly want. How do you listen? Be quiet. Question your thoughts. Don't believe everything you think. Tap into the kind of relationship that feels good and when you find it, keep your focus there.
3. Your Happiness — and Only Your Happiness — is Your Responsibility.
We all have the tendency to act as if our happiness depends on others. If they would just do this, or say that, you could feel better.
Except it doesn't work that way. Your feelings are up to you. You feel the way you feel because of the way you interpret events and the stories you tell yourself, not because of anything they do or say. It's not even possible any other way.
It's also not possible for you to make them feel any particular way, either. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do your best to be kind. It means you decide to be kind because you feel good when you're kind, not to elicit some feelings in them. If you're kind with an agenda, you'll eventually be disappointed. And if you wait around for someone to make you feel good, you'll definitely be disappointed.
4. Forgive and Give More
What hurts us most is not that others don't show us enough love, but that we don't show them enough love. When we perceive someone holding back on us, it's natural to hold back on them in self-defense, but it's our own holding back that really hurts us.
If you want to feel better, love more, not less. Yes, even when they just told you they are not interested, love them more. Even when you just broke up, love them more. Make no mistake, loving them doesn't have to actually involve them. It can be as simple as forgiving them for any hurt you feel and wishing them well in your mind. Sending them love from the comfort of your own home where they are none the wiser. Forgiving and giving more is something you do for yourself, not for them. 5 Ways to Forgive
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