Sex and intimacy are a full body contact sport, make sure to warm up and connect.
First of all, kudos to you 22 for reaching out and asking.
Let’s start with the official diagnosis for PE (premature ejaculation):
- Always or almost always ejaculating within one minute of penetration.
- Unable to delay ejaculation most or all of the time.
- Find yourself avoiding sexual intimacy as a result.
At 22 the most likely reason for this is that you have a lack of experience and skills.
It makes sense, based on sexual messages you have been bombarded with through media and porn, that you would think that you are automatically supposed to know what to do in every sexual situation, but how could you?
When you started masturbating (which was probably about ten years ago) you were certainly not taking your sweet time and enjoying all of the sensations of your newly found sexuality. You were in and out (or rather up and down) as quickly and as often as you could. Usually when guys finally do get to have intercourse you are still in a hurry, and want to finish either before your partner changes their mind, you get caught, or so on. You are not usually in the slow sensual discovery mode.
Which brings me to my suggestions for you 22:
SLOW DOWN! Really really really slow, slow your breathing, slow the way you touch, slow down where you touch, slow your partner down, touch their neck, say their name, find the crease behind their knee, caress the inside of their arm… slowly.
Sex and intimacy are a full body contact sport, make sure you are warming up the full body and connecting. When you finally do get to penetration, slow the f*^% down, pun intended. Seriously p-e-n-t-r-a-t-e do not ram it in, slowly, slow way down, put in the tip slowly and let you both feel it, remove it and enter again to the mid shaft, then all of the shaft, be inside and stop moving, breathe, look into your partner’s eyes, connect.
If this is too intimate or you are not close enough to do this, than perhaps you should not be having intercourse!! I don’t think we should all be doing each other all the time. You may need more to feel safe. As many of us do.
Review: Find a someone you like. Slow down. Enjoy the process. Connect.
This article was originally published at Amy Color (me). Reprinted with permission from the author.