Why You Can't Have A Happy Relationship Without Forgiveness

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unhappy couple in an argument
YourTango Experts explore forgiveness in relationships and how it makes us happy.

Some resources that can help you with the steps to forgiveness include: Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope by Robert D. Enright, PhD and Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping.

Amy Blake, Counselor/Therapist


5 tips for practicing forgiveness
The path to forgiveness begins with a willingness to release the pain. How do you become ready and willing?

  • Practice releasing your resistance/fear and opening yourself to change
  • Shift from judgment to compassion by releasing a strong need to be right, which masks fears of making mistakes, being wrong or appearing to be a failure, that always blocks your ability to let go. What if there is no right or wrong, good or bad, success or failure?
  • Gain new eyes by seeing everyone you encounter as your teacher and mirror, i.e., someone you don't trust is mirroring your distrust in yourself, and every situation as an opportunity for increased personal growth and enriched relationships.
  • Release each person from their role, i.e., parent, spouse, child, seeing them as people with wounds, history, baggage and fears who are doing their best at any given time.
  • Forgive yourself by silencing your inner critic. You always have a choice about how you talk with and relate to yourself. Choose which feels lighter: Criticism and judgment or love and encouragement?

As your fears, grudges, and hurts vanish; forgiving yourself and others provides increased peace, joy, health, love and space for the relationship of your dreams to unfold. 5 Ways To Forgive

Judith Joyce, Life Coach

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