Is love intoxicating? Is love's spark blinding? On the emotional level it feels wonderful, but when reality kicks in, you're undeniably sober and your hawk sight is as sharp as ever. When does reality hit?— After marriage! And, sometimes, it's during the engagement!
The majority of engaged couples are head over heals in love that they become love-drunk and love-blind, unaware of the top three problems that will deprive them from an everlasting marriage.
What are these problems that cause engaged couples to go their separate ways? Or to divorce after just a few years of marriage?
Those three problems, here in Part I of this topic, are under the umbrella of Love Building. Engaged couples think consciously that because they are in love, they are building their life together, they can overcome many obstacles, which is true to a certain extent, but not those three conspicuous obstacles.
There is another set of three problems under the umbrella of Love Protection, which will be discussed in Part II of this topic.
1. If you are an engaged couple, you are so much in love you think that everything will be great —Love will conquer everything.
Because love is an amazing emotion, it puts the world on hold so you may build special moments and passionate memories, which is absolutely wonderful! But, this is a severe problem!
With all the excitement of love, losing yourself in the moments you're living with your soul mate: the love of your life, the one and only one that exists in this whole wide world, it is hard for you to hear, see, feel and know that there is something that you don't like about your spouse-to-be. It can be difficult to notice that there is a potential danger lurking behind the screen of love.
Love building depends on using the right components. Selection is one major component and is an important step for an everlasting marriage; of course I'm talking about the right selection of your spouse-to-be. If your selection is wrong, your relationship is doomed. How are you going to build a strong foundation for your marriage and your future family with the wrong person? Love will not be enough to hold your relationship together because the other person's values might be completely different than yours. It could be that their communication style is unbearable for you. Your priorities in life are so different. You might have heard your friends say:
"He is so wrong; he's so not the right person for you!"
"I can't believe she is in love with him! They both are so incompatible!"
You don't listen, see, or notice! You are busy building passionate moments and not building Marriage Life Skills.
2. During your wedding preparation you ignore any red flags that might arise.
Planning an event especially the biggest day of your life can be very stressful. Undesirable behaviors, attitudes, and patterns, show up whether it is from the Bride, Groom, friends, or in laws!
You might want to ask yourself a few questions: