When your world turns upside down from a cheating spouse the answer begins at the front door.
Ok, so you were knocked for a loop or maybe you kinda knew deep down inside your spouse was cheating? No one knows for sure why people stray to where they think the grass is greener, especially when they have not been tending to their own side of the yard.
But here's the thing, the less you focus on the "why did this happen to me" the more you can focus on solutions that work best for you to begin to heal and move away from a toxic situation. I truly believe when a door closes, the big man or lady upstairs is protecting you.
This is best time to take your power back right here and right now. In working with a recent client named Alicia, whose husband decided to leave their marriage for her best friend, she was devastated and became depressed. In order for her to become healthy and strong again was a process in healing.
This is so important to hunker down and do some inner work. As they say, your happiness is an inside job but needless to say, losing love in your life is an act of grieving, forgiving and eventually accepting things as they are except with a new perspective. So, together we came up with 4 quick and easy actions for Alicia to feel good about herself, her life and forming a new direction.
1. The Do It Yourself Home Detox.
Happiness starts at your front door. What I mean by that is, when I met with Alicia, all her old stuff of pictures and memorabilia of her and her husband was hanging around the house. Alicia really wanted to start the year in a whole new positive way.
Together we gathered all the old photos and replaced the pictures with friends, family and upbeat quotes. We cleaned up the house and did a complete redo of furniture placement, pictures and colors around her house. In addition, we brought out her treasures, quotes and items that provided positivity in her daily life. Your home is your Zen, so have fun making it peaceful and inviting.
2. Heal What Ails You.
Your body often tells you when something does not feel right, so pay attention. If you are lethargic, not sleeping or eating well it could be a sign of depression or emotional exhaustion. Either way, get a check-up and a B12 shot for a boost of energy.
One ailment noticeable about Alicia was on again off again fever and headaches. Often this occurred when she was around particular friends who seemed to use her as a whipping post. Her choice in friends required a BIG overhaul. She slowly stopped taking their texts and phone calls and began accepting invitations to new events where she met a wonderful new bunch of caring girlfriends.
Taking care of your body is an act of self-love. And choosing people with integrity and character goes a long way with building new friends and alliances. Alicia not only feels much better but her judgement in choosing what feels right for her has received a nice bump in self-esteem.
3. Get Zen-tered.
Form a new morning ritual that gets your giddy-up and going. Perhaps this is a favorite cup of tea, some yoga and a brisk walk with your dog or friend before you head to work?
What gets you centered? Think about this or try something new with your routine that provides you with meaning and pleasure.
4. Positive People Pick Me Up
It really is positive people in which to surround yourself with in both good and bad times, your true friends love you no matter what! Be around those who provide love and comfort not criticism or Debbie Downers in your life.
Answer this one question to get you started: When I am____, I am happy!