How we communicate can make or break a relationship. Try these seven tips to increase your communication skills and see if they don't make a difference in the quality of your relationships.
1. Choose genuine authentic communication.
When we communicate authentically our words and our body language and our actions match. Authentic communication is calming. It lacks an adrenalin rush and tends to put other people at ease. Other people see us as how we are not as how we want them to see us. When we communicate authentically other people trust us and want to be in relationship with us.
2.Shift from blame and criticism to gratitude and appreciation.
Perhaps the quickest and most powerful way to be heard is to shift from blame and criticism to gratitude and appreciation. Most of us shut down and stop listening when we are blamed or criticized. Do you see the person in front of you as your ally or enemy? Life does not have to operate on a win-lose basis. What if you could create win-win alliances instead. The best networking, the best relationships use win-win vs. win-loose strategies.
3. Be fully yourself and be happy with who you are.
Often when we are not happy with ourselves we take our frustrations out, sometimes even without realizing it, on those we care about and those we love. To have healthy relationships with others requires us to first be happy with ourselves. Are you being fully yourself and creating what you most want in the world? It’s hard for someone to get to know you or have a relationship with you when you are pretending to be someone you are not. How many times have you heard either “he didn’t really know me” Or “she wasn’t who I thought she was.” Give people a chance to know to know the real you. If you don’t like you, then other people won’t like you either. Yes, you can be fully yourself and have amazing relationships. Time to be the real you and be happy with who you are. I can help.
4. Tell the unarguable truth.
What I am feeling right now, in this moment is true, unarguable. Whether my back hurts or I feel sad or angry are unarguable truths. The story I make up in my head about why I feel the way I do may or may be true. When someone tells the unarguable truth everyone realizes. When we tell stories or our version of what happened or make assumptions we become tense and defensive. Being real is one of the quickest ways to increase your communication skills.
5. Treat others the way you want to be treated, with respect.
What does respect feel like to you? Not interrupting. Not slamming doors. Talking in one out breath statements so we communicate clearly and respectfully to the other person. Wanting others to do things our way or being upset when they don’t, is not respect.
6. Be worthy of others trust.