Putting Your Relationship On A Diet Free Of Blame and Criticism


Putting Your Relationship On A Diet Free Of Blame and Criticism
Replace the blame and criticism in your relationship with heartfelt gratitude and appreciations.

One of the quickest most effective ways to improve the quality of your relationship is to put yourself on a diet—a diet from negativity that is. Much like how excluding excess fats and processed sugars can benefit your health; excluding negativity can lead to better relationships.

What's negativity? Sarcasm, insults, blame (e.g. "You always.."), criticism, the "look" (you know the one), eye-rolling ("Here we go again..."), a disapproving tone of voice, etc.  Remember, if you choose to be negative, your attitude is not your partner’s fault. You can stop the blame and criticism now. Here's how:

  1. Eliminate Blame And Criticism

Replace the blame, criticism and negativity with heartfelt gratitude and appreciations.  Just as a diet plan may suggest substituting apples for cookies, I recommend substituting heartfelt gratitude and appreciations for negativity. The next time you're tempted to dip into the cookie jar of negativity, take a step back and tell your partner or friends something you truly appreciate about them instead. This might be hard at first, but it will get easier. Actively appreciate your partner and your friends—I believe you'll find that once you’ve started this diet, the results will be so wonderful that you won't want to stop! Exercise your gratitude muscles! Give appreciations daily.

  1. Love Yourself

Appreciate yourself, find ways to love and nurture yourself. Take a step back from the internal dialogue of self-criticism and regret, and take the time to find ways to love and nurture yourself. Spend quality time with yourself and with friends. Take time to appreciate yourself daily.

  1. Replace Blame And Criticism With Appreciation

Giving sincere heartfelt appreciations is the quickest way to change the quality of a relationship. I invite, in fact I challenge you to show only appreciation and gratitude for thirty days. For many focusing on heartfelt appreciations creates profound changes in their relationships. You may choose to make appreciations a permanent part of your life. Let me know how it goes.

Contact Amelia Barnes, Life and Relationship Coach for a comlimentary coaching session if you are serious about improving the quality of your relationships and eliminating blame and criticism. Contact Amelia at Amelia@InnerOutcomes.com.

This article was originally published at Inner Outcomes . Reprinted with permission.

More advice on relationships from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Amelia Barnes

Relationship Coach

Amelia Barnes, Life and Relationship Coach

Love yourself and create the life of your dreams!

Inspiring women in midlife to have clarity in who they are, confidence in what they want to create in the next chapter of their life ... and the courage to make it happen. Amelia empowers people pleasers, perfectionists and procrastinators to create the next chapter of their lives.  

LIKE me on Facebook at Inner Outcomes.

Download 7 Tips to Create the Next Chapter of Your Life and register to recieve more helpful tips from Amelia.

Call Amelia today to schedule a complimentary coaching session to see if you and Amelia are a good fit for coaching at 317.688.7278 or email her at Amelia@InnerOutcomes.com.


Location: Indianapolis, IN
Credentials: LMHC, MA, MBA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Amelia Barnes:

Is Breakup Bitterness Ruining Your Shot At Happiness?


One of the most common questions my clients repeatedly ask me is whether it's possible for them to be happy again after divorce. My answer? ... I know it is because I am divorced and I am happy. The sad fact is that five years after divorce, 60% of people are no happier than they were before their marriage ended; 20% are significantly less happy ... Read more

Unpack Your Baggage And Other Things To Do Before You Date Again


Are you dateable? When we take the time to find out who we are and what we want in life (and from a relationship!) then we are on the path to finding a truly wonderful relationship. We are clear. When we are confident in who we are and what we bring to the table, we date not because we need to be in a relationship. We come from a place of strength and power. We ... Read more

The Benefits Of Playing As Hard As You Work


What do you do for play? Okay you’re an adult I get that. It’s okay; in fact, it’s a terrific idea to add more play to your life. This morning, I woke up early took my most appreciative dog for a walk, a few Frisbee throws and then a little weeding in my garden. That’s play for me. I felt alive and energetic and ready to start the ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular