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8 Sex Positions Guys Never EVER Want To Try With You (Seriously!)

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Sex

Yes, you can break his penis.

What you don’t know CAN hurt you and your relationship if you're committing the following sex blunders. While you're having sex, make sure to avoid these because these are bad sex positions that men absolutely HATE. Listen up, ladies.

1. The Over-Moan

Just because many guys watch porn doesn't mean they expect their own experiences to be like one. Moaning in ecstasy when a guy is barely touching you makes him think you're disingenuous. So, don't worry about being vocal to stroke his ego before he's even stroking your... you know.

2. The Starfish

On the other end of the spectrum is the starfish. Lying on the bed with your arms and legs stretched out flat making absolutely no effort to add to the action. Even if you're on bottom, most guys would ask that you be an active participant.

3. Catching Air

When you're on top, nothing scares a guy more than when you bounce a little too high, and there's the chance of a botched landing. Catch some air and come down wrong, and you're looking at the possibility of a broken penis. Yes, the penis is a muscle. But if severely bent while erect, it can actually tear.

4. The WWF Smackdown

Some like it rough. Some don't. Don't assume your guy wants to be smacked in the face, scratched down his back, spanked on the ass or any other thing you can do to inflict pain while having sex. If he tells you he likes it, fine, beat that boy up. But if it hasn't been discussed, don't leave him with any teeth, nail or slap marks.

5. Assploration

Yes, many guys find it pleasurable to have their ass fondled. Many guys will also flip their sh*t if you go anywhere near their back door. Unless he's told you he likes it, stay away from his butthole. If you want to fondle something, reach for his balls instead. They are a much safer bet.

6. The Lean Back

Erect penises bend forward. This means: Don't ride a penis the same way you ride a bull. Lean forward or straight up. Don't lean all the way back. Quite simply, guys’ penises don't bend that way.

7. The Red Eye

Most guys will agree that reverse cowgirl is a hot position. That being said, it's the safest to stay upright in this position. If you lean forward and grab his ankles, not only are you risking bending his penis the wrong way, you're giving him an unsolicited view of your assh*le. Asses are hot, the actual hole... the verdict is still out for most guys.

8. The Water Slide

From time to time, lubrication is necessary. There are many things that make good lubricants: KY Jelly, lotion, saliva, even conditioner if you’re giving a handjob in the shower. One thing that doesn't make a good lubricant: water. Water actually just adds to the chaffing. If you are giving a handjob and need some extra lubricant, reach for the lotion, not the faucet.

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Amber Madison is a nationally noted relationship expert, author, sex columnist and speaker. Want to know more about what guys are thinking? Check out Are All Guys Assholes? Based on interviews with over 1,000 guys about sex, love, and dating.

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