Most people would assume the hardest three words you may ever have to say would be “I love you”. But those words come from the heart, in a bigger realm, they flow easily. The three hardest words you may ever have to say are “I need help”. The solution seems simple, but in reality, it can feel impossible to make it happen.
After a loss, we feel completely out of control, sad, lost, and numb, amongst many other feelings. It can be very hard to continue our day to day lives, and sometimes our grief gets in the way. It takes a strong person to humble themselves and ask for help. If we could only find a support group, if we could only have just one person to listen to us, wouldn’t that make things seem a bit easier? Most of us do have a support team. We just choose not to see them.
"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
For most of us, saying “I need help” is admitting failure and vulnerability. In truth, asking for help doesn't mean you're a failure. It is actually a wise and very successful strategy because it will save stress and time. But how to get to that realization is key. How many times have you said to a friend or relative in need, "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you"? Don’t you think someone would do the same for you?
Here are five signs that you need to humble yourself and ask for help. And five false things our brains are telling us to stay isolated. Misery loves company and will grasp at anything to keep us loathing in our sorrows. Please heed these signals so you'll know when to say “I need help!” Remember, your only limits are self-imposed.
1) You are not going to work, calling in sick, and/or staying in bed all day.
Obviously you may not be able to see this as a depression, but your co-workers, family and friends will. You may even have shut your phone off or ignore your emails or text messages. The outside world is seeing your pain and wants to help. You need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and listen. You may not agree with their words, or see eye to eye at this point, but your life is more than your bed, your home, your apartment. And when you have made yourself exclusive to this place, you need to ask for help. You need to grasp at any venue to improve your situation by your own efforts. Admitting that you are human and that your heart is aching takes strength. You will be surprised at the support you will receive.
2) You are drinking alcohol, or using drugs more than usual.