Can you have a cougar relationship?

After a breakup, if they've been single for a while, or if they just feel like it, some men and women choose to consider exploring what society has in recent years labeled a "cougar" relationship. It can be exciting to find a different avenue to walk down, a road which has never been traveled. Maybe it stems from a fantasy to be with a much younger (or older) person, or maybe it's an attempt to keep up self-esteem when all internal courage has been shattered. Whatever the reason, the choice of who one dates should ideally be for the right reasons and at the right time.

In the world of animals, a cougar is a stalk-and-conquer mountain lion. A cougar is quick, smart, and always on its toes, always ready for an attack. The survival of the fittest leaves a cougar always at the top of its game. And in the dating world, the same definition can suit the "female cougar". When an older man dates a much younger female, a concept and practice that has been around as long as time, it's called a "May-December" romance. But when roles are reversed and the female is the elder, we're heading to Cougartown.


A cougar is a female, approximately 40 years in age (give or take a few years), who dates much younger men, possibly in the 25 year old age range. She may be married, bored in a relationship, unmarried, or recently back on the market. According to, "The most commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men. The onset of the cougar years is hotly debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners."

Just like the animal, a female cougar's prey range varies depending on her wants and needs. There are some young men who find this intriguing and search for the older woman. It gives them a sense of manhood, and an ability to have "one up" on their counterpart male friends. One website,, has a plethora of information for the young male stallion, AKA "cougar bait", on how to land a cougar:


"If you're a fearless cougar hunter, please go ahead and take your chances by approaching the next hot older woman you see in public. It's a risky business though and you're on your own because this guide into how to date a cougar steers clear of such unreliable methods. Here we recommend the two proven places to meet a cougar woman: 1) the bar and 2) online dating sites."


Two famous dating sites for cougars and male studs are and The websites continue to direct a confidence cheering session for these cougar baiters and says, "So go find them, and when you do, be confident, be cool and remember the reason most cougars are looking for a younger man is because they're bored of the slipper wearing, couch potato guys of their own age. That's why you have to exude energy, fun and sexual appetite if you want to secure a date with a cougar in a bar."

This article was originally published at Shine. Reprinted with permission.
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