Why Do Women Have To Change To Make A Relationship Work?
By Alex Matlock. Posted on .
As a dating and relationship coach, I share my advice with people in need. The advice I give, especially on my newsletter is "you should do this or you should do that" type of advice. Basically, I'm telling peolpe what they should and shouldn't do in order to improve their love lives.
It's only natural that some people will ask themslves, "Why, Why me?" .I don't usually write articles about the questions I get asked but this one was so popular, I just had to do it. Here's what some of my readers wrote:
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“Alex,
Why can’t he just accept me as I am? Why do I have to change?
Why don’t you tell this stuff to men?
Why do I need to change anything? He should be the one to change!
It’s not fair, he acts like a jerk and I have to be the one to work on myself?
Why does the woman have to change to make a relationship work?
Thanks,
Your Faithful Readers”
Dear readers,
I’m actually very glad that you asked these questions and I hope that many women end up reading this post because it’s going to be incredibly useful.
First of all, for those of you that don’t know it, I also run a similar dating advice website for men. On that one, I tell them to do the things I tell you to do but obviously to fit the gender – for example: When I tell you that men are not emotional and you need to always vocalize your emotions, to describe feelings – I tell men that women are emotional creatures and help them be more in tune with their emotions so that they can connect with you at a deeper level.
But funny enough, the men NEVER ask me “Why do I have to change? Why do I have to do this? etc. They automatically accept that this is what NEEDS to be done in order to get what they want (women, girlfriend).
You’re at the receiving end of my advice thus I can only influence you and only you can influence your relationship. It would be pointless for me to tell you that "no, that guy should change" because that’s never going to give you the love life you want. You need to make the changes in such a way that he will inevitably change as well and, you will both have the relationship you WANT.
In a perfect world, my best readers from the man site will meet my best readers from the female site and they will have the perfect relationship, perfect everything. However, in reality, things never work out this way.
The reason you have to change is because you are the only person you have complete control over.
You can try forcing your man to change, but I guarantee it won’t work and instead, you will most likely find yourself alone.
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The truth is, the way you act has a major impact over the way the other person responds. As a result, learning how to modify your behavior can lead to a much better, much happier, much more fulfilling relationship… and isn’t that the ultimate goal here?
Not to place blame, but we do need to take responsibility for what we bring into our interactions, this applies to romantic relationships as well as friendships and interactions with our family.
