HOW DO YOU GET STARTED?
By Lou Paget
More from YourTango: 13 Surprisingly Sexy Gestures That Qualify As Foreplay
Follow my "Dirty Talk Assignment." Sure, that doesn't sound exactly sexy, but the more familiar you are with what you want to say and how you want to say it, you'll have more confidence and you'll have more fun. That's what it's all about: mutual pleasure and fun. Consider this your sexy to-do list:
1. What is your motivation? Do you want to say something you heard that was hot? Do you want your partner to say something?
2. What inspires you? Is it a fantasy? Did you read something online? An image? (A note of caution here: if it was with hot with another partner, you need to repurpose that talk. No one wants to feel they are being compared to an ex.) Tell your partner you'd like to try something with them: "You know I was reading this book and I thought how hot it would be to explore that with you."
3. Practice, practice, practice! If you know what you want to say, then practice it just as an actor would run lines. And in a way, you're adopting a sexy persona with your new sensual language. Consider reading aloud an erotic book to your partner while you're in bed. That way, you can deliver the exact tone and words you desire. And who knows? Your partner may have wanted to introduce this too!
More from YourTango: Touch Me There: The Couples' Guide To Erogenous Zones
4. Learn from the masters. Some people are master negotiators at knowing how to ask for what they want and how they want to feel. (Visit FetLife.com, but avoid Kink.com ... it isn't the real thing according to my friends who are into BDSM.) Keep reading...