A broken heart is one of the most painful feelings in life and although life throws many challenges our way, mending that broken heart seems to be one of the most difficult ones. You could have just ended a long term relationship, or just realized that the dream relationship you hoped to have has just collapsed when it seemed as if it was just getting off the ground. Regardless of the scenario, a broken heart can have you hurting in places you never known you could feel pain.
We’ve all been there, men and women alike. Sure, some might get over it faster than others but we can all agree that regardless of how many times this happens to us, getting over that pain never seems to get easier. I've talked about many issues in the past but never actually tackled this particular topic. I consider getting over a broken heart to be a fundamental process in your quest to find love. The sooner you can move on and get over this hurdle, the closer you’ll be to that perfect relationship.
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Having said all that, here are six things you can do to help heal your broken heart.
Don’t Hold It In
The first and most important step towards recovery is to let it all out. Theres no way to go around this. Block him on Facebook, delete his pictures, listen to sad songs, watch sad movies, hate on him to your girlfriends and ultimately CRY, YELL, SCREAM — do whatever it takes to let it all out. It's absolutely paramount that you do not try to hold it in. Many women stay busy by doing absolutely anything (partying, drinking, finding some new guy) but that will only give you a temporary escape. Unless you take the time to let it you, those feelings will come back with a vengeance.
Focus Your Mind On Something Else
Once you've managed to let it all or at least most of it out, it's time to focus your mind on other things. If you just sit around the house doing nothing, you'll inevitably think about him all the time. You need to stop your mind from obsessing about this issue and focus it on something else. Spend time with your friends, exercise, get more involved into your work, or do volunteer work — whatever it takes to keep him outside of your head. The more you sit and think, the worse it will get. The less often you think about him, the better and easier it gets to get over him.
Stop Trying To Work Out Why It Happened
Keeping your mind busy with other things is a great way to get over this but it’s not 100% effective. The moment you'll have some free time, the thought of him will immediately pop back into your head and you'll start to think about why it happened, how it could have been different and what you could have done to in order for things to take a different course.
Look at it this way — can you turn back the time and change anything? No! Then why are you still dwelling on this? It makes no sense and there's absolutely no point to continue down this path because you'll only be torturing yourself for no reason. The next time he pops up into your head, chuck him out and replace that thought with something else. It’s not going to be easy but at least you’re doing something to get over him.
Make A List
If you find yourself unable to stop thinking about him, unable to stop thinking about why it happened and what you could have done differently, then it’s time to make a list. You probably still think he was perfect, that he was the one for you, and feel bad about it ending. Making a list about his faults is the best way for you to see that he wasn’t actually all that perfect and that you're actually much better without him.
Take your time and really think about each item on the list. Consider the implications of each thing and how that impacted your relationship. After you're done with all of that, make a list of the qualities you'd like to see in your ideal guy. When you're done with both, compare the two together and you’ll realize that your ex is actually not the "one" for you.
Focus On Your Future Successful Relationship
Once you've gone through all of the above it's time to take your most important step. Relax your mind, relax your body, try to reach a calm place in your mind and then focus on visualizing your next relationship. This relationship is very different from the one before it. It's different because in your mind, it's perfection. Think of how amazing the next guy will be, think of how great he'll make you feel, and think of how fulfilling and fun this new relationship will be. Let yourself feel all those amazing, lovely feelings. It’s important to take this time and visualize the future as it will make it much brighter than the past. Not only that but it will also get you hyped up to take an initiative and make a positive change in your life.
A Few More Things To Remember:
You’re not the only one. When you are in pain and you feel as if it’s consuming you, you tend to think that nobody knows what you're going through or that nobody has ever felt this way. The truth is that many others before you have been there and have managed to come out triumphant on the other side. This is why it’s important to understand that soon, you will too.
Also know that it’s not him that’s upsetting you. Those feelings that you have are not there because of him. They're there because of your inherent desire to be loved, a desired that all human beings have. Because you've spent so much time with him, you think that he is the only one that can give you that feeling of love. The need for love and approval creates an overwhelming feeling of lack within, which can seriously delay you from moving on. The key here is to focus on your self-confidence in order to stop yourself from falling into these traps. Only when you feel happy on your own, can you actually feel happy with someone else.
There you have it, my easy to follow plan on how to heal your broken heart. This is the sort of topics I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your love life’s success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com – a place where the conventional “dating mindset” is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality man in your life.
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