It’s natural to want to spend every waking minute with someone new that you like. Unfortunately, if you do that, you’ll end up relying too much on the relationship for your own happiness. If that wasn’t enough, seeing someone so often doesn’t allow you to take a break from all that emotional excitement and stimulation, it doesn’t allow you to THINK about what’s going on. By the time you realize he’s not that great, it will be too late because you’ve invested too much and you’re going to rely on the classic “love conquers all” cliché to justify staying with him.
What You Can Do
More from YourTango: 5 Steps To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You
You DON’T need to stop dating guys that make you feel a strong and immediate attraction. You should date both type of guys but the secret here is to date smart. Obviously, this will be a lot easier to do with guys that you don’t feel immediately infatuated by, but you should force yourself to date everyone smart.
If you just started seeing someone, try to refrain yourself from seeing him all the time. Keep it at one or two dates a week. Also, try your best to keep the phone conversations/texting to a minimum (1hour total time spent doing this). Doing this will allow you to get to know the other person while at the same time, giving you more than enough time to decide if he is right for you.
Many women get caught up on how a guy FEELS about them, instead of worrying on how THEY feel about him.
You can avoid this if you just make an effort towards seeing him and your involvement with him, clearly. Pay attention to his flaws and make a note of them. Think about it this way: “could I live with these flaws for the rest of my life?”. Nobody is perfect so make an effort to see his flaws.
At the end of the day, relationships are about how much crap you can take from the other person. If there’s crap that YOU KNOW you will never be able to get over, then that relationship will always fail eventually.
Remember: the only way you’re going to be able to see him clearly is if you can give yourself enough emotional space to clear your mind and think about it, whilst keeping a strong level of objectivity in the beginning.
More from YourTango: That Guy You're Dating Is Pulling Away. Now What?
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your love life's success, visit TheSingleWomanGuide.com - a place where the conventional dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting, attracting and keeping a quality guy in your life.