Have you ever met someone, immediately clicked and then felt like a force was taking you over?
After this initial encounter, it doesn’t matter what you do but you just can’t get that guy out of your head. You make a conscious effort to think about something else but seem to fail each time. You keep thinking about your interactions with him, what each of you said, how he moved, how he reacted. You constantly think about the things you could have said but didn’t actually have the chance to.
More from YourTango: How To Have The Relationship You’ve Always Wanted
You’re constantly on your phone, checking to see if he said anything new. If he did, you get very excited and feel like your day just got a lot better. Obviously, after that, you spend an incredibly long amount of time, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say back.
This continues as you start to go deeper in a relationship with this guy but somehow you never seem to know exactly where you stand with him. This mystery keeps you in a constant state of alert, checking every sign and wondering if it’s a bad one. You feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster which is exhausting but very thrilling at the same time. The biggest fear in your life right now is the possibility of him leaving. This fear is so strong that it somewhat controls everything you say and do.
Now let’s look at another way on how things can develop.
You meet a guy but he doesn’t seem really special. You like him, you have decent conversations, you give him your contact details, aren’t too anxious about hearing from him but you’re feeling alright. You feel good when he gets in touch but aren’t really stressed about when and why he hasn’t called/texted sooner/more often. You give him more chances, you go out a couple more times without expecting a lot from it all, but you slowly start to see how your attraction begins to grow. Everything seems relaxed, there isn’t a lot of drama (if any), you’re not overly excited but somehow, this feels great.
Which of the above scenarios do you think will last longer, or even forever?
After reading what I’ve said, you’re naturally going to say the second one. But, in real life, when it’s actually happening to you, you will easily fall for the first. The first example represents everything that we’ve ever known and wanted about love.
Dramatic Relationships Are Usually Unhealthy
More from YourTango: Why Guys Don’t Call You Back After The First Date
Unfortunately dramatic relationships that take you on an emotional roller-coaster ride are usually unhealthy and are often bound to fail. Before you say anything, yes, there are exceptions but those are not often at all. This happens because that initial PULL that you feel towards the other person is guided by your unconscious desire to resolve some of your past issues.
Let’s look at an example. If your parents made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may be inclined to fall for men that treat you the same way, guys that are full of themselves, because you hope to rectify that issue from your past.