Although they say you should never judge a book by its cover, they never say anything about judging it after you read a little bit. On that same idea, think about how much time, energy and heartache you could save if you could determine if the guy you're dating is indeed relationship material?
The first step in having an amazing and healthy relationship is to choose wisely. You can't make the right decisions unless you know what to look for and thus getting out or avoiding a situation before you get in to deep and heartbroken.
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This article is going to focus on those certain type of guys that will always spell trouble and almost never be the right prospects for a healthy and successful relationship.
Guy 1: The One Who Gets Intimate Too Soon
Overly eager guys are never a good sign. For one, he may act as being extremely into you, just to get you into bed as soon as possible. He's the kind of guy that looks deep into your eyes, tells you he never felt like this with any girl before, and also never this fast. The guy comes across as incredibly affectionate and might confuse even the most wary woman. If he's the player type, this is all an act to get you into bed.
Alternatively he might be a guy that's just not over his last girlfriend. This can be spotted quickly if the guy starts to act as your boyfriend after only a couple of dates. This behavior isn't explicative of his feelings but more of the fact that he misses or wishes that he still was in a relationship.
Finally, if he's not a player or not getting out of a relationship, this guy might have some serious attachment issues or self esteem problems. Either way, he spells trouble.
If you're dating him right now: It's time to make the right decision and slow down this relationship. Don't see him every time he wants you to. Don't get carried away with all sorts of cuddly feelings (I'm so crazy about you—no, no I'm more crazy about you). Try to keep things on the light side. If you've just started dating him, try to see him only two maximum of three times a week. If he's this kind of guy, he's going to pressure you to see him more often. Don't do it!
You'll know he has issues if he's not respecting your decision to hang out less. If he whines, guilts you, begs, pouts then there's clearly something wrong.
Remember, the man you're dating should always respect your boundaries.
Guy 2: The Guy With Obvious Commitment Issues
This is the guy that tells you he doesn't want a relationship right off the bat, the guy that can't/won't call you his girlfriend when it's time to or the guy that's over 30 and hasn't had at least two serious (or one very serious 5+ years) relationships.
It really doesn't matter what their issues are, the bottom line is that this guy can't see himself in a relationship with you. Do not try to change his mind, to turn him around, to make him want it. You're just going to waste your time.
If you're dating him right now: You need to set things straight then leave if he won't change. Tell him something on the lines of, "Look, I'm not into the whole casual dating thing. It was great getting to know you but I'm looking for something more serious." If he really wants to be with you, he will make the commitment, if not, leaving him will be the best thing you’ll ever do. Do not make the mistake of trying to stick around to show him how amazing you are because it will get you nowhere.
Don't hurt his feelings. Just be honest about your desires. Just like neediness is one of the biggest turn offs for men, self respect is one of the biggest turn ons. Respect yourself and don't be afraid to leave if the other person isn't ready to give you what you want.
Guy 3: The Guy That Hates His Job And/Or Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do With His Life
When searching for a man you should always look for confidence, ambition and stability. You can do without one of these qualities but never without two.
Studies have proven that compared to women, who gain their sense of self esteem and worth from their inter-personal relationships, men asses their value based on their job or ability to have an impact on the world. If a man feels like he isn't being productive, he will feel like a failure. A man that feels like a failure is an extremely difficult person.
If a man hates his job from every point of view, he may not have a high level of confidence but this same guy is stable (because he has a job) and might have an ambition to change that.
A guy that doesn't have a job, doesn't know what he's going to do with his life, is a guy that will be too focused on himself and what he's going to do. He won't have time to be in tune with your needs and desires. This guy will just bring you down with his negativity and will envy you if you seem to have everything together. Don't look for the loving and caring partner here because you're not going to find him.
If you're dating him right now: Do not tell him to get a job or change his job or offer other career or life advice. It will only make him feel more like a loser.
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They key here is to make him feel better about himself in other areas of his life. The more you make him feel better, the more he'll want to keep you around. He'll soon realize how important you are in his life and will work to find his cause (or better job etc.) in order to keep you. Keep Reading...
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