Em & Lo Answer All Your Questions About Kinky Sex

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handcuffs
"The Emily Posts of the modern bedroom" teach us all a lesson about BDSM.

Kink can be especially great for long-term relationships, where you can play with power roles, share fantasies, pretend to be someone else for each other and learn to trust each other in a whole new way. The more you trust each other, the more you can explore together, and the hotter things can get. (Learn some other new tricks in 5 Extraordinary Sex Tips Women Can Learn from "Fifty Shades of Grey."

What toys and accessories are best for beginners?

Em & Lo: We really love the entire line of products that LELO sells (and not just because they're one of our sponsors.) They're beautiful, well-designed, high-quality accessories. Even the packaging is awesome! They sell great cuffs, beginner suede whips, vibrating couples' love rings, and more.

They also sell kits, which are a great way for beginners to start. Overall, their aesthetic is incredibly non-intimidating for beginners. It's a great way to explore kink in a sensual way. Plus, you'll never have to face all the whips and chains and leather and nudity that you might find in more niche BDSM retailers!

You say in your book that you believe that everyone's sex life should include something they would never share over brunch or beers. Why?

Em & Lo: Well, first of all, we should say that we happen to think it's great to be able to talk about your sex life with friends. It can be a great way to learn new things (e.g. "You should try a love ring!"), and also to feel reassured (e.g. It's totally normal not to be able to orgasm through intercourse).

That said, we think there's something incredibly hot about having secrets with your partner doing things behind closed doors that nobody else knows about. We're no yogis, and we don't tend to talk about sex as being "sacred." But we do think there's something to be said for keeping a few things off limits when it comes to sharing. Plus, your best friend will probably appreciate not having the image in her head of you and your boyfriend doing it while dressed up in dog collars and nipple clamps.

Thanks to Em & Lo for the interview. For more on why — and details on how — to use kink to spice up your sex life, check out 150 Shades of Play.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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