6 Tips To Prove You Are Prettier Than You Think You Are

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Holy Crap! Even Victoria Secret Models Think They're Not Good Enough

In response to criticism for their “Perfect Body” ad, Victoria Secret changed its name to “A Body For Everybody” and posted this video on Instagram featuring Sara Sampino confessing that she’d never in a million years have a body like fellow Vicky's angel Candace. Yup, homegirl was complaining that her body wasn’t good enough.

Sure, it kind of makes you want to punch her in the face. I mean, look at her. But instead, let’s take this in and try to learn something. Everyone in the world can call you beautiful and sexy, you can make a living at being “hot” on the highest level and women everywhere want to be like you but if deep inside you still feel undeserving, you will never feel good enough. You will not be able to fully enjoy your hotness.

Ideally we want both right? Look hot, feel hot.  Even if no one finds you attractive (which I doubt is even true), there is still hope. Once you like you, others will like you. It takes maintenance, and most of it is the internal kind.

We’re far more impressionable than we’d like to admit. If we weren’t, corporations wouldn’t spend billions on ads that tug at our insecurities and empty our pocketbooks (FYI - women control about 80% of all household purchases and over $20 trillion of consumer spending worldwide). We crave the hottest beauty product, body-shaping mechanism and pair of heels that will help us in our quest to be more attractive.

Oh, I’m not knocking Spanx and Louboutins. There will always be space for both in my wardrobe. I’m simply saying to start by making sure you feel good first and the rest will follow. The other way around doesn’t quite do the trick. This is why so many of us feel like Sara (who captioned the video 'Don’t stress about what someone else has—love what u got!').  Err, we’re all so conflicted, aren’t we?

So, how exactly do you ‘love what u got’? Ah, the trillion dollar question. You know that special moment during a high-stakes competition reality show when it makes you cry? C’mon, am I the only one who tears up? These contestants are following their dreams of designing, dancing, singing, cooking, you name it, I’m a sucker for it all.

The single mom trying struggling to make it, laid off construction worker, the young cancer survivor. They’ve all been through rough times but the moment when they finally let go, dig deep and put their heart, soul and angst into what they’re creating, it’s magic. They make their own special mark and it’s beautiful, vulnerable and badass at the same time.

What they’re feeling at that moment…That is what makes you feel sexy inside. And, hello? How much do you want to sleep with that person after witnessing their moment? No matter what they look like, they just got super sexy! It’s proof right there that this is a thing! Sexiness inside pours out. It takes work to get there but fun work nonetheless. So I’m going to break it down right now.

Get lost in your passions. There’s something really cool that happens when you do what you love and let loose. Nothing else matters. You enjoy yourself so much that what makes you feel ugly and incompetent (subconsciously and otherwise) has no power over you anymore, just during those moments. When you feel this way, you’re tapped into who you really are. Well, hello there, sexy!

We live in a complicated world full of distractions. Thousands of messages a day (including our inner thoughts) tell us that we may not be pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough. Even if you already do what you love, everyone needs weapons to help keep the self-esteem healthy. Little tweaks to help remember that we’re prettier (and way more awesome) than we think we are. Here are six of them:

1. Don’t let labels define you. Do more and talk less. Sometimes we get so caught up in labels that we forget the point. I have a buddy who always reminds everyone she’s a vegan but then she eats pork and beef whenever she visits her grandmother. It's hilarious, no one cares if you call yourself a vegan, a feminist, a person who wants to save sick babies or all of the above, do something instead of talking and two things will happen naturally: You gain confidence by taking action from a genuine, meaningful place plus you let the world know exactly who you are (and where you stand) at the same time--without having to say a word.

2. The way you start your day makes a difference. Kick it off by remembering your best qualities and leave yesterday’s mistakes (made by you and others) in the past. When you wake up and say “I’m the shit and I’m going to have a kickass day” how can you not be the shit who is going to kick ass?

3. Schedule your social media. Twice a day for 10 minutes each is all you really need. Facebook/Twitter/Instagram stalking can be fun but it can suck the life out of you. Sure, you're happy when your friends do well but if you’re caught on a tough day where everything is going wrong, it can take you to a dark place that makes you feel like a loser. Friends going on lavish vacations, posting photos of the flowers her boyfriend (who looks like David Beckham) sent again, that bitch has it all,Arrggghhh.

Why are you spending so much time watching and criticizing everyone else’s life, anyways? Oh, and those random articles that you must check out even if it’s just to peep the comments! How much time do you spend reading the opinions of the most miserable people on the planet? Instead, here’s Beyonce throwing an underwear party on a hotel balcony. Now, be inspired and go out there making your own memories.

4. Gossip is no bueno, keep it to a minimum. For the same reasons as number three. You can be much more productive with those minutes. Plus it’s just bad juju and people secretly don’t trust you. You’re giving them every reason not to.

5.  Surround yourself with supportive, positive people. It’s the most important thing you can do. Happy people aren’t the biggest gossipers, they also inspire and motivate just by being who they are. They give compliments, they’re ambitious, shall I go on? Being around that energy is far better than witnessing it on random status updates while moping around at home. Remember, we’re impressionable so who you choose to hang out with affects and reflects how we think of ourselves and how we live our lives.

My ex-bestie is beyond confrontational. It seems like every time we’d go out she’d end up arguing with waiters, store associates and anyone who looked at her the wrong way. It was exhausting. I spent more time playing referee and good cop than I did enjoying myself (although she was very entertaining). I had outgrown the friendship and found happy people who still know how to have fun but were way less drama. She and I are still buddies but not nearly as close. That change alone made me more productive and in tune with who I am.

6.  Give compliments. Consciously notice something good about everyone you encounter throughout your day. Make a sincere comment and watch their face light up. Making someone’s day will make your day. I know it sounds corny but when you notice good things about others, it makes you feel good and helps you find it easier within yourself. It’s human nature.

I’m essentially giving you tips on how to be an attractive person on the inside. Simply being nice isn’t enough. If it doesn’t change the world in even the tiniest way then it will not change your world or how you feel about yourself. The reality is, you’re supposed to be nice so you don’t get a prize for suddenly not being a douche. The magic happens when you take action sharing your stellar, passion-filled cooking, guitar-playing or photographer skills while also not being a douche. See the difference? Oh and anything selfless that you do (without enabling someone or hurting yourself) adds sexy points too.

You get to do what you love and watch as people adore you for it. And because you’re not an asshat, you actually like yourself in a healthy way. Sexiness is the strongest when connected from the inside out. Inside out allows you to appreciate the sexy in someone else without feeling threatened by it. The next time you see a hot chick who is also a hot mess, you know what her deal is. Let’s make sure from now on when you look in the mirror, that girl will not be staring back at you.

Aisha Amore is a coach and creator of Sexy Beast Project. Contact her for information about how to feel sexy, confident and powerful. You are welcome to sign up for free daily affirmations of sexiness here because what woman wouldn’t want fun, motivational blurbs of goodness reminding her everyday?

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