If You're Not A "Perfect Catch," Maybe You Shouldn't Be Dating.

Love, Heartbreak

To find the "perfect catch," you first have to be a "perfect catch." Find out if you truly are.

One of the best ways to find and be found by your perfect partner is to be the perfect partner. If you are a person who is ready to date and prepared for the commitment and flexibility serious romantic relationships require, you will be much more likely to encounter and embrace the perfect partner when they come along.

Should You be Dating?

Odd as it may sound, this is the first question you should ask yourself when trying to determine whether or not you're a perfect partner. There are a million reasons why you might choose to take yourself out of the dating game for a limited amount of time. Some make this choice because they want to heal from a difficult breakup, divorce or some other life challenge, while others make it because they want to focus their energy somewhere else for a while.

While the thought of not dating might be excruciating for you because it means you might miss out on meeting someone special, it's important that you take this deliberation seriously. You need to know, for sure, that it is a good time for you to be dating before you can meet anyone and form a serious relationship.

Can You Commit?

This question is almost as important as the previous one. Even if it is a good time for you to be dating, if you aren't ready or aren't in a place where you could commit to a serious romantic relationship, you might want to consider what type of partner you would really make.

Not being able to commit is not something to be ashamed of. If you're not ready, it might be OK to continue dating as long as you are up front about where you are at with any potential romantic partners. Some people want to date a lot of different people, have fun, and enjoy themselves, and if you find someone with those desires you could still be a great date.

There are also circumstances that may keep you from being ready. For instance, you might be contemplating a cross-country move or caring for a sick loved one. It's important that you know these things about yourself, so you can communicate them clearly to any potential partners.

Are You Open?

Relationships take a lot of work. No matter how compatible you are with someone else, there will be areas where the two of you differ, and you will need to determine how you're going to deal with those areas. If you aren't able to be accepting of this sort of difficulty and open to a person who is very different from you, you aren't the perfect partner right now, because you aren't ready to deal with the realities of what a serious relationship means.

It can be painful to realize that you aren't open enough to pursue finding the perfect partner at this time. However, that realization is the first step towards solving the problem. Work on your own openness, trying to understand and accept points of view different from your own. You might be surprised at how quickly this trait can change and your heart can be opened toward another.


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