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• Yes, you might still love him, but the big question to ask yourself is what is wise and in your best interests. It comes down to this... If he is marrying (or already married)to another woman, are you willing to connect with him again knowing that he is not fully available to you? Especially if you still have feelings for him, can you truly be just friends with him? As emotionally painful as it is for you to consider getting over him and moving on, think about how you will feel having to share him with his fiance (or wife). Can you be okay with that? Would that be a fulfilling experience for you? The choice is yours to make. Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Can I get over him and ...

• The key with long-distance relationships is to have very clear communication. Especially if he hasn't yet moved, start having some very honest and open conversations with him now. You don't have to know exactly what will happen or what situations will arise, but be sure you two create clear agreements about your relationship-- especially around issues of concern for you. For example, talk about whether or not it's okay to date others or sleep with others (if you have already talked about this, then re-affirm it). You can also create agreements about how much communication you each expect to have. You don't have to be so exact about it, but get a sense of what is expected and wanted by each of you. If one of you is calling and texting more frequently than the other, it could be misinterpreted as lack of interest. It is great if you can set up specific times each week or every so few days where you two will skype, call or somehow communicate in a connecting way. Try to be creative about what you do when you have your skype dates. Watch the same tv show or movie at the same time, read to one another from a sensual or romantic book. And, of course, talk about what's been happening in each of your lives. Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Transitioning to a LDR

• The good news is you are seeing your habits and patterns that aren't serving you. This might be a time to reach out for support from a professional or organization that can help you better understand what triggers you in these high-risk behaviors and then help you learn new habits that do serve you. Addiction and depression can be destructive in so many ways and they are both also something that can be overcome. With the right tools and support, you can make lasting changes. Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Help me with High-Risk ...

• Recall exactly what your girlfriend said when she broke up with you (try to be as literal in what you remember as you can). Did she ask you not to call her or to give her space for a certain amount of time or did she not say? It's important for you to honor her wishes, but it's also important to get clear in your mind what the status of your relationship is. It she called this a break and not a breakup, then it's reasonable for you to ask her to talk with you and clarify what this means to her. Does it mean you two can date others? How much contact with one another is she open to? If she is actually breaking up with you, then it might help you to find out for sure. As painful as it is, the not knowing can be even more painful. If this is a breakup, then it's probably wisest to focus your attention back to you and to your healing instead of calling and pretending it's a casual call. Bottom line... get clear about what the status is and then decide what's going to be best for you. Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Should I call her?

• It sounds like what you need is positive and healthy support. It's completely natural and normal to touch yourself when you are alone and feel like doing so. It's also completely normal to feel the sexual attraction to others that you feel-- if you are bisexual it might be something you always are or it might be something that changes for you. It could be that your parents will be more accepting of your sexual preference than you think they will be. Have they said or done things that have made you believe that they will not be okay with this? If so, then you might look for other sources of support. Be very choosy in finding support. Online forums may or may not be helpful. If there is an LGBT group in your community, that might be a place to start. It is also normal and okay for you to feel sad at times. We all do. But, if you ever feel like you will hurt yourself, please get help from a professional. The Trevor Project has free help and resources: http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/get-help/ Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: I don't want my parents to ...

Of course, a resistance to being transparent does not mean you are prone to cheat. Being transparent also does not necessarily mean that you no longer have privacy or that you have to open up your journals to your partner. After infidelity, the couple can talk about what transparency can mean and what they are each willing to do. The offer to be transparent made genuinely by the one who cheated can be a powerful way to demonstrate trustability. Something like transparency is just *one* way that a couple can rebuild trust after an affair. It's not the only way and it cannot be forced or pushed.
Posted on: 4 Ways to Know It's Safe to Trust Again After the Affair