The #1 Thing People Who ACTUALLY Find Love Online NEVER Do

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THIS Tinder Mistake, Will Never Get You A Date

You think it helps, but it does SO much damage.

Dating apps are hot right now for meeting singles. Many of my dating coaching clients over 40 are swiping their way to finding love.

While using the apps like Tinder seems so simple, one of the BIG mistakes I see women making is hovering in "chat mode" way too long, hoping a man will ask them out.

Before you decide to jump on your smart phone, let me share a story about the best way to meet men using this singles tool.

My client Belinda, who is 45 and never married, was very excited about trying Tinder and signed up for several apps simultaneously.

Within the first few days of online dating, her phone was blowing up with matches and men contacting her, which absolutely thrilled her. Naturally she responded to the men and texting through the apps began. So far so good right?

The problem was that before too long, she was texting with 21 men!

Can you get to know 21 men at the same time?

Now, you may think interacting with 21 men should provide a wealth of matches and help you find Mr. Right faster, but that’s not the case. Belinda lacked selectivity.

Think about it — how can you get to know 21 men, never mind keep them all straight? It’s impossible.

You get so many texts, but no dates.

A few weeks later, we had another coaching session, and I asked how many men Belinda was texting. She was still connecting with over 20 men! I asked how long she’d been texting with most of them. Her reply stunned me because several were from the first few days.

She had been texting for weeks with these men, but still hadn’t been on one date!

What does his consistent texting mean?

Many women think when a man texts for weeks, he's genuinely interested, but that is not how dating works. For whatever reason, there are a lot of men (and women too) who enjoy texting, but never take the next step to meet you face-to-face.

So here’s the truth — the longer you text with a man, the lower your chances for meeting him.

But, texting cannot replace dates to get to know a man.

The advantage of dating apps originally was to move quickly from texting to meeting your match. The idea was, "Hey you look cute. I’ll swipe right, hope you see me as a match fast and then we can meet ASAP to see what happens." There was never any intention to text for weeks.

You can’t get to know a person through texting, no matter how much fun it might be. Long-term texting relationships are pure fantasy.

Here are 5 ways to stop the texting relationship and get a real date:

1. Limit texting to one week.

The only solution is to limit your texting. Enjoy a few exchanges, but if communication goes past a week, drop the guy and move on.

Every day that passes after you swipe right diminishes your chances of meeting the guy.

2. Suggest Date Zero.

Another option to end texting is to ask a man if he wants to grab coffee to see what happens. Suggesting a first meeting is not seen as aggressive in this case, because the first date is not a "real" date.

The accepted term is "Date Zero." This is a chemistry check to see if you’re attracted to each other, get each other’s sense of humor and feel there is potential worthy of another date.

3. Don’t waste time with men who won’t make a date.

Asking a man who has been texting for a week if he wants to meet is a way to quickly discover if he’s interested in dating you. Men who don’t want a relationship prefer texting and will make excuses about why they can’t get together. That’s your clue to move on right away.

Avoid waiting around for a man to figure out if he is ready or available to meet you. Forget him if he’s too busy to see you. He’s not serious about finding love or not serious about you, so don’t waste your precious time.

Belinda thought continuing to text with all these men meant she’d end up with more dates. She feared letting go meant cutting off "opportunities" and had no idea the majority of these men had no intention of dating her.

4. Don't put stock sweet texts from men you haven’t met.

That’s why my dating advice is to drop any man who doesn’t meet you within a week. Don’t be fooled by sweet texts filled with nonsense about how he feels about you before you meet.

If you haven’t met him, he doesn’t know a thing about you, and you don’t know about him either.

5. Remember that virtual relationships are dead ends.

I warn my clients that virtual relationships do not blossom into real relationships. Stop texting and hoping he’ll ask you out some day. That is a surefire mistake that will keep you single forever. Dump men who won’t set up a date within 7-10 days and keep swiping to find men who want the same thing you want — a lasting, loving relationship. A man looking for love wants to meet you within days, not text you forever.

Ronnie Ann Ryan helps successful women with a hot career and a chilly love life to find love. For more savvy dating advice for women over 40, download her Free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes Women Make that Keep You Single at




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