It's not just what you say, but how you say it...
This is a universal desire among women everywhere.
But do you struggle with being noticed and getting the attention you want?
If you answered yes, it’s time you learn how to talk to men in a way that captivates them — so they listen and want to know more.
Here are nine ways to catch a man’s eye and engage him in conversation. Each suggestion will help you meet more men, get more dates and find the love you want.
1. Be curious.
The way to a man’s heart is through his ego.
Ask about his hobbies or interests and be genuinely curious.
This is an old trick that works so well, he’ll think you are an amazing conversationalist. Yet, you’ll really be talking all about him.
For most men that is extremely flattering and hard to resist.
Don’t worry, if he’s the right man for you, he’ll be curious about you too and will turn the tables to learn what you are all about.
2. Be confident.
First, think about who you are when you go out to meet men.
Do you worry you might not be pretty enough or aren’t young enough? Do you think there are few men if any who will find you intriguing?
Maybe you’re shy and hang back from the crowd. Or you fear rejection so much that you don’t risk getting noticed.
A lack of confidence can definitely get in the way of men paying attention to you.
Honesty is the first trait both men and women want in a partner.
One of my favorite self help books is called Confidence: Finding It and Living It by Barbara DeAngelis, because it is filled with simple ego-boosting ideas that really make a difference.
You can also start a practice of self appreciation. Simply choose one aspect of yourself that you are proud of and appreciate that every day for a week. Then choose another trait for the next week. Learning how to build yourself up and acknowledge your value as a person and a partner is not egotistical, but demonstrates a healthy sense of self worth.
3. Be delightful.
One surefire way to get a man to listen to you is to be delightful.
This means you are easy to approach and easy to talk to. You are friendly, positive and open. You smile often, maintain eye contact and laugh easily which are all part of flirting.
In other words, you are a total pleasure to converse with — so naturally he wants more!
Women often overlook the importance of shifting into a more easy-going way of interacting, because they are still in work mode when they go out.
Some women feel the man should do all the work.
But if you want a guy to pay attention to you and listen, I suggest making it easy for them.
4. Be easy on the ears.
Your tone of voice says a lot about you and is especially important when talking on the phone.
You sound happier when you smile, even if he can’t see you.
Convey a sense of warmth in your tone of voice when you speak to men to help them welcome your interest.
Another hot tip is to whisper. It doesn’t matter what you say, whispering adds a layer of intimacy that is enticing. Even if you say something like, “You’re so sweet” after he says something nice, you’ll have his rapt attention.
5. Be damsel-like.
Chivalry is not dead. When you ask a man for his assistance (a.k.a. are a damsel in distress) you naturally evoke his masculinity and he wants to rescue you.
You may think this is antiquated, but this male reaction to come to the aid of a female is biological, rooted in his DNA and harkens back to prehistoric man.
Why not leverage this fact?
Don’t hesitate to ask for help when there’s a man around who would be happy to solve your problem.
For example, I’m on the short side and often have trouble reaching items on the top shelves at the grocery store.
When I can’t reach, I look around for a tall guy and ask him to get it for me. I’ve never been refused. Most men give me a nice smile as they hand over the jar of olives.
This same technique worked great when standing at a crowded bar. Again, being short made it hard to get a busy bartender’s attention. So, I would spot a kind looking man, go stand next to him and ask him to help me get the bartender’s attention to order a drink.
Trust me, this worked like a charm and was a great way to strike up conversations. I met a lot of great guys by playing into their chivalrous nature.
6. Be sassy.
A little feistiness goes a long way with men to pique their curiosity.
When you are sassy, you demonstrate your intellect and a sense of humor. That combination is highly inviting for men.
Sassiness can include light verbal teasing. For example if a man asks you for your number too quickly, you can say something like, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Or “My digits are sought after” without giving out your number.
This creates a challenge and can start a fun conversation.
7. Be brief.
If you decide to share a story, keep it brief and not overly detailed.
One way to lose a guy is to tell a long story with tons of detail. If you want a man to listen, get to the point faster than you would with your girlfriends.
8. Be flirty.
Once you’ve been chatting for a while with a guy you just met or on a first date, you might want to step up your flirtatiousness.
Breaking into his personal space will certainly capture a man’s attention, if he’s at all into you.
Here’s how you do this tastefully:
When you’re making a point during conversation, reach over and lightly touch his forearm, hand or shoulder (depending on where you are sitting). Hold for just 2-3 seconds and then gently lift your hand away.
Be careful not to linger or move into more sensual flirting like putting your hand on his knee, unless you want to go home with him.
Keep it PG if you want to take things slowly.
9. Be hospitable.
If you were having a party, you would make sure every person who attended felt welcome and comfortable. You’d take their coat and offer them a drink. You’d introduce a friend who didn’t know anyone to another friend to get a conversation going and minimize awkwardness.
Now apply the concept of being hospitable to dating.
When you engage with men and show them how you enjoy and respect them, that is highly appealing.
Why? Because there are many women who actually don’t like men, respect them or feel superior.
Your choice to be kind, warm and hospitable will make you stand out from other gals who share nothing but disdain and a bad attitude.
With these nine simple ways to get a man to pay attention to you when you talk to him, you are certain to engage men more easily.
If you try these suggestions, more men will notice you, walk over to meet you and want to spend more time with you.
If you want to stop wasting precious time on the wrong men so you can find love with the right man, contact Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan for a free Dating Discovery session. And get her free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes That Keep You Single