Do you appeal to his masculine nature or compete with him and push him away? Find out now!
As a successful career woman, you know how to take charge and make things happen. You have skills and are confident using them to create your success.
Good for you!
Now you want to apply those same skills to finding love.
Have you tried getting the ball rolling with a guy you’re attracted to? I bet that didn’t go so well.
You think the same strategy you apply in your professional life should work for dating. After all, you are equals.
Why didn’t he go for it?
You might disagree, but here’s the difficult truth.
Men do not want to feel competitive with you when it comes to romance.
Nothing squelches romance faster than competing with him. Most men will quickly move on and look for love with a more feminine woman who appeals to his masculine nature.
Confused? As a dating coach for women over 40, I work with successful women who often make this exact mistake — and I know how to help. It’s time to look deeper at what’s really going on and shift how you present yourself in the dating arena so you can enjoy success in the love department too.
Here are 5 ways changing how you interact with men will help you find a true love connection.
1. Focus on fun.
Starting with the first email, phone call and date, keep the conversation light and fun. Talk about topics like hobbies, vacation, free time, movies, books, TV and music. This is how you’ll discover a man’s passions in life.
You might be tempted to ask him qualifying questions to find out fast if you’d be wasting your time with him. But that strategy won’t help you get a second date. Men don’t like pointed questions and you probably don’t like them either.
If you want to see him again, enjoy the conversation and make him feel good. Think of this as being a good hostess — that’s very appealing and feminine.
2. Stop initiating.
For the first six dates, let him pursue you. That means you don’t initiate anything. You respond to his outreach and requests, but don’t call him, ask him out or text to see how he is. Let getting together be his idea, because that feels good to his masculine nature.
When you initiate, you are chasing him and most men do not like to be pursued. You’ll look aggressive and desperate — and neither of those characteristics is appealing. Let him be in charge.
Think about ballroom dancing if you have any questions about what you should do. There’s only one leader. Once the two of you shift into the relationship stage, everything balances out and you’ll both initiate, but its best to let him lead at the start of things
3. Stop demanding.
As a successful woman you are likely very direct with your communication because that works best in business. Not true for dating. Unfortunately, most men don’t appreciate a demanding woman. They prefer someone who is relaxed and easy to please.
How do you get your ideas across? Make a request!
Here’s an example: Say your date asks you to dinner and suggests Italian food. You are avoiding carbs so you prefer Sushi. Instead of being direct, try a more feminine approach. “Italian is good, but I’m thinking of something lighter. How do you feel about sushi?” This is a request and will land a lot better than if you say, “No pasta. Let’s get sushi.”
4. Stop asking him how he feels.
Men do not want to talk about feelings, especially at the start of dating. Of course, as women, that’s one of our favorite topics right? The way around this is to think about semantics.
According to Dr. Pat Allen, you can always ask a man what he thinks. In a way, this is like asking for his opinion which is more up his alley. Many men do not want to discuss their feelings at all. Save the feelings conversation until later when the subject of love comes up.
5. Stop trying to win petty arguments.
Maybe you are talking about something and you know you are right. Do you want to be right or happy?
If the topic is petty and unimportant, let him win the argument. You need to pick your battles, because you can’t win them all.
If the subject doesn’t really matter, let it go so he can feel a victory. Men love that, and you’ll win too by using your feminine charm to keep him happy.
Follow these five tips and you will interact with men from a feminine place and appeal to their masculinity. That’s a way to hold a man’s interest.
Men choose women who make them feel good, and now you have a five-point strategy to do just that.
Your feminine energy is incredibly powerful and attractive.
For more tips about successful dating over 40 and understanding men, download Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan's free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Keep You Single.