Self, Heartbreak

7 Steps The STRONGEST Women Take To Bounce Back After A Knock Out

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7 Steps The Strongest Women Take To Bounce Back After A Breakup

Everyone gets knocked down from time to time.

Whether it’s the result of a breakup, losing a job, or some other life upheaval, as long as you’re alive, you will get knocked down.

But you don’t have to stay there! You can move forward with your life by showing mental resiliency and getting back up!

Sometimes we get knocked down by others’ actions, and sometimes by our own sense of failure. Both types of circumstances provide us with an treasure trove of experiences and lessons from which we can grow.

To do that takes mental toughness — but when we’re recoiling from a hit, strong is seldom how we feel.

So how do you find your inner grit to get to the pearls within?

Here are 7 ways you can toughen up, buttercup:

1. Take back control of your own emotions.

When other people hurt and disappoint us, we have two options. We can blame them and continuing to hurt, potentially growing bitter, or we can accept that while we can't control others, we can and should control our own emotions.

2. Find forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a strength. Until we can forgive and move on, we remain stuck in the past. Being disappointed with ourselves and our results is sometimes difficult to overcome because it requires forgiving ourselves. 

The easiest way I know to do this is to consider whether you would forgive a loved one for the same action. Chances are, you would. So why not forgive yourself?

3. Learn the lesson — and move on.

Moving forward in life isn’t only a result of our wins. Success is also a result of learning from our perceived failures. Fully examining why we didn’t get where we wanted to go gives us the information we need to either get to the finish line next time we try, or reposition our GPS.

Examining our circumstances in order to learn from them requires mental toughness — an exercise in resiliency that opens us up to see those bright lights in front of us.

4. Stay flexible.

One of the lessons often learned when life hits us is that we’re not infallible. There’s a relief in that. You can accept your mistakes even while you write your new future with confidence.

Just knowing you are strong enough to adapt to whatever changes might be needed gives you an additional boost of confidence. That’s mental resiliency!

5. Choose your reactions consciously.

Don’t let your emotions control you. Emotions are a reaction to a situation, but you are in control of the actions you take.

Visualize the full gamut of emotions on a conveyor belt from bliss to depression. Then choose the emotion that empowers you to take the action you want.

Don’t let your emotions control you! Let them move through you, and move on.

6. Reactivate yourself.

Okay, you’ve been down. To keep moving forward, find a motivating source to reactivate yourself.  

Connect to your life purpose, and when you lose the battles, you’ll be safe in the knowledge that you are never losing the war. Select a motto, repeat it daily, post it everywhere.

This is your battle cry — take it on! This is your life!

7. Take action.

Thinking, visualizing, and dreaming are all great exercises, but nothing happens until you take action.

Put that plan in place after you’ve gleaned your lessons from the bottom, looking up. Reposition your GPS, take the Action Plan you’ve created — and DO it!

While nobody hopes to get knocked out, it can turn out to be a rewarding experience.

All it takes is a bit of mental grit and accountability to see the bright future ahead.

Jan L. Bowen is a passionately authentic thought leader who helps clients align their lives so they find more joy and greater connection through articulating and living their purpose. To get Jan’s latest book, "Why Do You Get Up In the Morning? How to Demystify Your Life Purpose," download it now. You will also receive her newsletter, with articles only available by subscription.