Developing sexual sophistication will slash our current divorce rates and foster better relationship choices. Care about your sex life. Build it and nourish it, on your own or with a partner, and it will pay you back in loving joy and hot excitement ten thousand fold.
About Eric Amaranth
Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach covering topics ranging from solo and partnered women's and men's sexuality, awakening your sleeping sexual side or sex drive, first time orgasm for women, orgasm during intercourse, basic to advanced sex skills, men's sexual issues, and much more. The ten year protege of pioneering sex educator Betty Dodson, Ph.D., the author of the feminist classic "Sex For One".
Amaranth is best known for his sophisticated, made for adults, sex life coaching for individuals and couples where he mentors his clients of all sexual orientations and genders toward the sex life, intimacy, and connection goals they desire most. Advancing your sex life with yourself and/or a partner(s). Amaranth works with clients in a variety of ways. He primarily utilizes what he calls Talk Sessions (tm). Talk Sessions work very similarly to any other form of coaching: through one-on-one or couples discussion with or without sex skills practice via sex toys. The client chooses the formality of speech and sexual terminology from clinical to casual. There is no nudity or sexual display in Talk Sessions-- just talk. You get to ask Eric anything you want. After each session, you'll play and experiment on whatever you went over: healing something in your sex life, new sex skills, or improvements on existing sex interests. Amaranth has a very strong foundation of physical sex skill sets, however he also coaches clients fluently on mental, social, and emotional skills. If it has to do with forwarding a healthy sex life, Eric will guide you to what you want.
For those few who are ready, Amaranth also offers Guided Sessions (tm) where he guides, fully clothed and without participating or making sexual contact, while the client(s) engage in a practice session of sex, solo or partnered, to learn-while-doing whatever the sex skill may be. The same idea as a dance teacher or personal trainer in the gym. It's co-creating to make sex the most powerful it can be-- just like we teach everything else. His clients are consistently surprised with how fast they get better at sex whether they do Guided Sessions or Talk Sessions.
Amaranth works with individuals, women and men, and partnerships of all sexual orientations in-person or via Skype or phone. Eric also offers what he calls "best friend sessions" where a woman and her best girlfriend learn together if they aren't comfortable learning with Eric singularly. Eric coaches men through resolution of premature ejaculation, difficulty reaching orgasm, as well as establishing a bedrock of great sex skills for the women or men they love. Further, if you're already sexually proficient and believe learning from a professional is fruitless because you know all their material, then consider Eric for the next steps in your sexual sophistication's growth.
Amaranth thinks of his profession as "the new sex therapy" which complements a psychology-based sex therapist's work. This offers a client the full range of sex development and issue resolution. Eric is not a psychologist. If you have past issues of abuse and psychological disorders surrounding sex, a sex therapist is the clear choice. However, if you are free of those issues or your sex therapy has reached a comfortable point of success, sex life coaching advances you even further.
Eric's position is that for the majority of people, appreciation through a flourishing sex life is one of the best sustainable resources we have to renew love and connection as well as the erotic between partners. It's what makes the hard times not nearly as hard and divisive as they could be.
Amaranth shows you the way to build your sex life, solo or with your partner(s), brick by brick, better and better, for years to come just like he designs his own sex life. No adult sex education professional out there has ten years with a mentor like Betty Dodson, plus Amaranth's own rich experience, original material, willingness to research for himself and clients, and a committment to understanding how to create and make replicable some of the best sexual pleasure and intimacy paths.
Speaking and Media Appearances: Amaranth has co-presented on sex education at NYU Medical School on sexual technique and ejaculatory control with Dr. Dodson. He has presented erotic sex education salons at Kiki De Montparnasse. He has been featured in national publications including Marie Claire, Salon.com, a WellandGoodNYC.com feature article on his health and female orgasm information and a feature MarieClaire.com article. Eric has appeared on The View with his mentor Betty.
Eric Amaranth Success Stories
Sarah's Happy Feedback To Me On Her Sex Life Coaching
"Sarah" recently sent me this as an email response to how her ongoing sex life coaching sessions have improved her married sex life with her husband, "Jeremy." Sarah has a focused desire for great sex and throwing away all the tired old actions and messages that kept her from that. Jeremy does too now that he sees an effective path to making that happen. Many of my clients fall into this catagory of focus on what they want and have had enough of the pressure to bury their dreams of great sex and orgasms:more
The individual and couple benefits my husband Jeremy and I have already enjoyed from your clear, creative knowledge base are incredible! I felt somewhat off-course over the years when I've focused on what was missing with sex, that maybe dissatisfaction was more a result of other marital woes and not at the heart of things. I was afraid to know what I knew (that sex is so central to my life force & if I can't figure out how to have a fulfilling sex/life journey with my spouse, our union can't indefinitely withstand the pressure). Many relationship and personal habit adjustments are further possible with your practical help!
Working with a professional, enthusiastic straight guy has given my husband such a masculine boost- he's got tailored access to accurate info that guarantees more physical lovin' with the woman he loves. And with your support and insights into women and sex, I'm moving into a stronger place... with renewed courage to evolve sexually. Celebrating with Jeremy rather than down-playing my non-conventional side and need for growth. My refreshed, excited spirit makes it so I can't wait to implement principled actions (with regard to caring communication, techniques, and attention to details/bigger picture modes) in and out of the bedroom. Areas where we don't match up exactly aren't so threatening or necessarily static. Our sexy time has a new lightness and patience in addition our concentrated practice and focus. I don't think traditional therapy avenues would yield that core result for us. And it's just gotta be more fun!
You are a gem among men and experts. I say that not knowing you long- but I dig the steady, genuine vibe to which approach your coaching sessions and writing perspective! THANK YOU for making yourself available for those seeking real sexual expression!!
-Sarah, age 30
An Update from Joyce on her Wonderful New Sex Life
I check in with former clients every so often to see how things are going with their sex lives after having completed some sex life coaching with me. Here is "Joyce's" latest feedback on her married sex life with husband "Ken." You can read more of Joyce's story in some of my other previously posted Success Stories:more
Participating in sex life coaching completely reset the way we communicate in bed, which was a big obstacle for us. We are able to try new things without feeling self conscious and if the earth doesn't move this time, well, it's okay. We know it will another time or eventually. Life is the same in so many ways. We are too busy and pulled in so many directions. Sometimes we are just so tired and stressed that sex isn't a priority. However, when we get around to it, it is SO GOOD. Stress melts away and we remember what we have learned.
Sex used to be just another source of stress. So pressured and disconnected. It was just easier to avoid it. I feel sexually skilled now, which feels powerful and I take great joy in giving Ken oral sex that have him hanging on to the headboard. Lovely to turn him on. His intercourse skills are so good now and he can use his hands at the same time so very well. So amazing! We would like to talk more on him taking the lead more often.
We also really appreciate your help with reworking how we have sex in a house with our children still in the nest. That alone was such an obstacle for us before working with you.
Sex and our romantic life together is a lot better now. -Joyce
Penelope's Fast Track To Great Sex
"I have learned more about my body than I have ever did before. I had no idea what I was capable of. My first session I was so scared, but Eric made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I could not wait for my next session to learn something new. I was never shy about my body, but I had no clue what to do to experience higher pleasures. Thank You Eric for the most amazing Guided Sessions. I wish I knew you ten years ago. I feel like I missed out, but now I’m heading where I want to go with sex and orgasms."more
-Penelope, age 28
A Multi-Orgasmic Love life is where we are now.
This is excerpted from an email sent to me by a client who was in a low place with her husband and their sex life. After a few sessions, she was writing back with feedback on their progress to me having done new positions and creative combinations that I'd not yet taught the two of them!more
"My husband and I have been married for ten years. In that time our sex
life went from pretty average, to bad, to none. In fact, we had quite
a lot of none, So much, that it seemed like it would be impossible and
unrealistic to even imagine having an exciting, engaged, intimate and
multi-orgasmic love life in the future. But that is where we are now,
and it only feels like the beginning."
"When I explained our sexual avoidance pattern to Eric, he used a pragmatic approach which has allowed us to bypass several pieces of emotional baggage and focus on
developing pleasurable sexual skills that brings us our new love life."
"Eric was very generous, patient, and detailed with his wealth of knowledge on all things
of erotic interest to us both. We're both very happy we invested in Eric's guidance."
-Whitney (and Roger)
His First Fellatio Orgasm in 45 years!
This is from an email from one of my previous sex life coaching clients. Her new boyfriend had never had an orgasm from a woman going down on him. However, with the sexual skills she learned from me, they're enjoying lots and lots of repeat performances:more
"My new sex partner went for forty five years without a woman ever giving him an orgasm from fellatio. Basics don’t work on him. I fixed that little problem just last night, Eric, with the advanced oral sex skills you taught me. We both thank you very, very much." –Sara
How Lydia Fell Back In Lust With Her Husband of 20+ Years
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
Below is an explanation sent to me by Beth, a long-time sex life coaching client of mine, after I asked her what made her fall in love with her husband again due to the sex life coaching they did together with me:more
"For me, our love is tied to intimacy and trust, and ultimately, the desire to forgive each other all of our little aggrivations toward each other, day to day, because we can’t imagine not wanting to make each other happy in the end. We have our selfish moments, but they past and we forgive. So no, I fell back in lust with my husband. Your teaching helps me to know how to keep that going, and make it better than most even realize is possible."
"I used the skills that you teach to see myself as a sexual person and rekindle my fire. I went from an attitude that sex just wasn’t as important to women as men, to believing that without a good sex life, a relationship is incomplete. So when I was ready to work on my partnered sex life, I used the skills you taught as ways to make sex exciting again, and for the first time since we were young, something we both wanted equally. Also something that we both knew needed more skill than what it took when we were both fresh to the relationship and where sex still had the glow of newness for us."
This lesbian couple is having the best sex of their lives now.
Here is a non-nonsense quote from my lesbian client, "Kim":more
We were skeptical to say the least that a straight man had anything to teach a lesbian couple in need of a resurrected love life. After our consultation, it was clear that Eric loves women and pursues their pleasure the same as we do. The results were far greater than we expected. He knew more about p***y and what to do with it than we did, but not anymore, after hiring him. ;) –Kim
"Kim" and her partner "Lisa" benefitted most by learning more advanced sexual skills sex life coaching for women and their pleasure. In addition to new things, I showed them saw many subtle points in their sexual prowess that benefited from a second set of eyes to make them even more pleasurable and effective. They were thrilled with their sessions with me and walked off into the sunset together!
Thanks for the talk-coaching session today. Can’t wait to put it into action tonight! You’ve completely revolutionized our marriage over the last few months. –Victor
A Beautiful Newly-Single Woman's Sex Life Coaching Success
When you're a coach or consultant of any kind, you know how much you love and appreciate receiving testimonials or positive thank you notes and such. Here's my latest one that made my day:more
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with you and to learn from you during our sessions together. I was at a place in my love/sex life that was in flux but you met me where I was at and your Talk-Teach coaching allowed me to grow in my sexuality despite the challenges I was facing with my prior relationship.
As a newly-single woman I can say that the solo-skills I learned from you have greatly improved my self-loving and I am finding that nurturing myself in this way has been so therapeutic. The partner-sex skills I learned from you have made my dating experiences that much more exciting! Hearing a man rant and rave about how amazing you are in the sack never gets old!
What I am most grateful for is how much you have expanded my field of vision when it comes to sex. I see things that were once intimidating to me as fun possibilities. You are a wonderful, knowledgeable professional. I got to know you a bit through your writing and it was obvious to me during our initial consultation that you were someone I could trust and learn from.
It turns out that you have an uncanny understanding and sensitivity to the female experience but your perspective as a man is
invaluable. I am so happy I chose to work with you and I would tell any woman considering sex life coaching with Eric to go for it!
My client, we'll call her Bridget, loves the skills she can bring to the bedroom now and the erotic of controling a man's hard penis and orgasm exactly as she wants it. Needless to say, so do her partners. Our coaching wasn't all about manserving; it also covered lots of material for her body's pleasure which she integrated cleverly into moments where he was the focus. I thanked Bridget very much for this email and hope to work with her again in the future when she's ready for more sex life learning.
Nancy and Julio's Wonderful Success Story After Sex Life Coaching
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
As I indicated in my previous blog post, a past married couple, who were sex life coaching clients of mine last winter, told me all about how their relationship of just over twenty years was revitalized (and getting better) due in large part to the talk-teach coaching sessions the wife, Nancy (name changed), had with me.more
I was sitting one day going over past client contact info, then contacting some of them, seeing how they were doing. I like to keep in touch here and there to see how my sex life coaching helps or sustains their happiness over time. I texted her after being out of contact since January or February and she wrote back with:
"We're doing great!"
I replied: "Do tell!"
Nancy: "He's totally in love with me."
Eric: "Wow! Email me all about it and how it happened, girl!"
Nancy: "When I get back from our trip. Today is our 23rd year anniversary, by the way."
Eric: "Happy anniversary, you two! What a way to have it!"
A few days later I text back in my excitement because by the time Nancy finished her sessions, I wasn't sure if things were going to improve much for her and Julio. He had feelings of no more attraction to her, no willingness to stay with her while she did selfloving after he had his orgasm either. However, she had made her missteps and mistreatments of him too over the years. I gave them my method for communication about sexual things that I felt suited them best, some ideas to work into the bedroom for more interesting nights, and also to rid both of them of the resentments they had. Nancy had only two sessions with me though, and I didn't see much improvement on Julio's side. However, she stuck to my advice plus a bit of new perspective from cognitive therapy models to keep her mind from careening over into triggered resentments born of the past.
Eric: "So! Tell me all about it! You back home now?"
Nancy: "We get back Fri. The secret is love, but both people must have the ability and willingness to be nourishing to each other. Our sex is better than ever."
Eric: Can we do a phone convo on Fri or later in the week? I'd love to hear more."
Nancy: We can talk on Saturday. You were right about the resentments and how to deal with them."
I text on Sat and ask for when she's available for our talk.
Nancy: "Between 1 and 4 EST, and Julio (name changed) will be working from home so maybe he'd like to talk to you also."
Eric: "Okay, great! Let's do 1:30pm my time."
Nancy agreed. The convo day came and I listened as Nancy described how, in a nutshell, my coaching on how to help shift a sexually reluctant partner into an exciting one worked for them. She did her part, but the key to it was persistence with the method. Not giving up and not expecting it to happen overnight. Every time Julio balked, she took things sweetly and with warmth. She pushed frustration out of her head and kept it coming. That was the cognitive behavior part of it. Thankfully, Julio was down deep, a man who could be transitioned away from withholding and anger.
Julio started staying with her while she selfloved some more after he'd finished his sexual romp with her, which is a form of intimacy deeper for most of us than a peck on the cheek and a little snuggling. Now, he comes up behind her and takes her bum or breasts in his hands from behind, then, whispers hot and sweet things about what he wants to do to her later. He'd never done that in all the years of their marriage. It also helped that I gave them more things to do with sexytime than they'd had before or given them new ways to look at them that are more exciting. Nancy said that gradually over months after their completion of our sex life coaching sessions, they shifted into a couple who at first wanted and then couldn't wait to do erotic or affectionate things for each other. Love-feelings blossomed again and in ways they'd never had in the very beginning.
Now... I can't wait to start a new package of sex life coaching sessions with them at their new place in their marriage. Below is Nancy's comment to this. I love it because it shows how much her sexual interests and firey desires have been pulled up along side of by her husband. The advanced sex skills she mentions she can't wait to practice and get good at, and neither can her husband. That's an important step I see happen with my clients, They change from negative or ignorant positions on sexual pleasure to mutually sophisticated ones. That means, they both are on the same page with wanting amazing sex with the one they love. That's a tremendous combination. Believe me, I know.
I know this is hard to believe, but that is exactly how it happened. I'd had a few phone sessions with Eric, without my husband knowing. The last time was in January I think. It was just a coincidence that he happened to check in with me via texting on the day of our 23rd anniversary.
What helped the most in the beginning was how Eric taught me how to communicate what I needed. That was magic! Once my husband loved me again, he wanted to please me. Now he's gone from wanting sex with me every 3 days to almost every day, and he is in his 50's. He can't keep his hands off me.
The next sessions will include my husband. I really want to have him do the "hot talk" that Eric teaches. I think I could be halfway to climax just with the right talk. I told my husband about a new sex thing this morning, and he got so turned on he had to get in a quickie before work. I think the idea of teasing him is so hot
Enjoy your day everyone!
P.S. I never met Eric. I'm just posting this because he helped me and I am so grateful!!
Two Women's Successes While Sex Life Coaching with Eric Amaranth
Women with sexual dysfunctions
A piece of my day for you all, here are two snippets of emails between me and two individual women sex life coaching clients. The first is from "Lilly" and the second is from "Tara" (both names changed). Lily's feedback is about big successes with her manual sex skills for men that I coached her on while Tara's is a longer piece on finding the way to more intense pleasure and orgasm via sex life coaching and also some feedback on what she'd recently created for herself. I jam back and forth with clients to the extent they feel comfortable on their progress with what I teach them. You'll find my thoughts and reflections after each section. Then, look in the comments section below! Tara comments on some of my thoughts.more
Thought you would like to know I used your handjob technique and the guy would not stop telling me how amazing it was. Quote: "I am pretty sure that was the best hand job I've ever had!"
One of the things I frequently address with clients is how crucial sexual skills are for better sex. I had another client recently tell me that he was going to take up a basics massage course in his area. I said how good it would be for he and his wife to be in a setting where specific methods are used to make the massage feel as amazing as possible. The same situation applies to a great extent in the best in sex. The things in sex that don't follow this model are without exception made even better by adding sophisticated sexual touch and orgasm knowledge. I have this in my own sex life and so do my clients. People who disbelieve or ignore this are missing out on one of life's biggest combinations for happiness. My way is to make a big starting transformation and then show how to continue that momentum by building and enrichening your sex life over time with your partner.
The next account is from Tara. You'll see how specifically detailed we are able to discuss how her sexual skills are improving and where they still need tweaking. For many of you reading this, it may seem very intimate to be speaking this way with someone you aren't having sex with. However, I find most people are not talking like this to their partners either! That it can be easier to get into the details with a coach figure. It gave Tara some good practice and now she feels more confident speaking this way to new partners. This level of detailed description doesn't happen with every client, but what it shows is the joy it brings people to have someone non-threatening and knowledgeable enough to go into such rich detail. They say things like, "It's so amazing to finally have someone I can talk to about these things and then grow from it and get better!" People want this level of freedom and ease with their partners. People are tired of being in the dark and forced to stay there. Ready for the real thing in sex and I'm so happy to be a source for support of that. Below my thoughts
I always knew the possibility for such pleasure existed, but I had no idea how to tap into what I was feeling... I've felt a strong need for a varied, "higher level" type of self pleasure for a long time, and many years ago I figured out that I was responsible for my own orgasms, especially since my one and only attempt at "hands-on" instruction didn't take me where I knew I could go... far from it, actually.... And where I could go by my own hand, and eventually vibrator, was ohhhh soooo much better, deeper, wetter, hotter orgasmically than I'd every experienced in partner sex, up to this point.... and NOW I know that I was barely scratching the surface.
Ironically, the thought of actually allowing my future partner to watch me masturbate, which I realize will only make things hotter for us both, is such an intimidating thought outside of my fantasies. You asked if I could imagine my man behind me while I stood with clitoris taking my magic wand vibrator. Oh yeah, absolutely no problem there.... But in real life? I suppose it's just the next step after your instruction, but the reality is still intimidating.
I was always looking for different ways to come. I tried a few different standing positions, and today I added a different one... both legs kneeling on the couch, with body remaining basically straight from knees up. I'm enjoying the 1/2 stand so much more now, and I'm not orgasming as fast, so my standing leg became slightly fatigued last night... automatic fix, both legs kneeling on couch today..... Overall, standing brings such a different feeling to the orgasm, almost deeper feeling, but truly it's the constant areola/nipple stim style you taught me along with the clitoral stimulation that REALLY makes that work...along with my fantasy.... which has lead me to a question about hand placement with a partner, which I will write down to discuss in our session this Sunday, among all the things you mentioned!
Lastly, your feedback about you seeing me, "turning into a sexually sophisticated woman pretty quickly" was very powerful, and when I think about it, I know I start smiling... Truly, you've given me the confidence, and more importantly to me, the drive to want to start dating again, NOW! .... and not wait until I lose the rest of the weight.... it's coming off, I'm doing well...... but with this new knowledge, whether the men I date are going to work out or not, I do feel like I'm coming from a different place, with so much more confidence than I've ever known, all because right now, with your expertise and guidance, I'm doing for myself what I've known all along was possible. Thank you, Eric, for being such a dedicated, patient and skillful teacher..... I'll leave you with this final thought.....
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”
Tara also mentions the fear she feels of using a vibrator in front of her partner. That's a phobia I saw a lot of ten years ago. Now, more and more women are ready to try it and say they enjoy in with their partners when before, they would be shamed. Now, here is Tara's comment to this article amd my thoughts:
Pretty powerful to read what I wrote through the eyes of
someone else... I never thought about the level of sexual detail as being too
much with you, at all. In fact, it just came naturally, and I felt that
the more I was able to share, the better you were able to coach. I hope
this was the case.... I think it was! I was laughing a little at how I
was afraid to share my vibrator with a partner... Hasn't happened yet,
but I'm feeling very differently about it all now....
Thank you, Eric!
Both of my clients, Lily and Tara, are now different women from the ones I met during our consultation call and first session. That's the transformation I love helping people create. That and it feels good to provide info and guidance that ceases their pain, boredom, confusion, and lack of sexual satisfaction.
Previous Client Melissa's Update on her Sex Life!
Attention: rich description of great sex follows. Reader discression advised.more
I saw Melissa on chat recently and I asked her how what she learned with me stuck with her and Travis. She said:
"Yes. it definitely did. I'm extremely happy with the way things
have turned out. Our relationship is so much stronger and we're so much
happier. I was a bit worried at first that after I had met with you that
things would eventually go back to the way they were, but we just still
keep going strong and we are more adventurous. He's not as shy. It's
"We've been really into shower sex. He loves me going down on him in the shower so that he's standing and able to see me from that angle, and have me looking up at him. He likes how I look all wet and with wet hair. I'm good at using both hands plus my mouth now, like we discussed. One in harmony with my mouth and the other on his balls or just kind of caressing, teasing. We've tried a couple different lubes for shower sex, even some flavored ones to play with orally. And since we're already in the shower, its easy to wash off, clean up and then get into sex in bed."
"I really do want to thank you again by the way. Also for your blog!! We're getting married next May!"
Successes and Realities of Joyce's Sex Life, Married with Kids
Below is another email correspondence between me and my sex life coaching client, Joyce, whose continuous sexual growth I've blogged on recently, wrote this to me on the reality of her married life with children and the impact that had on her sex life. Again, all clients I blog on have their names changed and give me express permission to do so. It doesn't get more honest and real-life than her account and I think many married women in her 40's bracket of life, and their partners, will resonate with it.more
Joyce: This is a long story, most of which isn't really necessary to explain. One of your other clients probably put it best-when you raise kids together the relationship turns into a partnership, sometimes a relay race, just to keep up. The deep commitment, the shared responsibilities, the friendship; all are required to maintain a functioning family, which is it's own reward. I am not complaining. However, it is decidedly unsexy. The intimate connection can get so lost in the business and stress of family life. In addition, bodies change, wrinkles form and those damn babies leave stretch marks and sagging breasts. All unsexy. Communication patterns form as well, some steeped in resentment and just plain fatigue. My husband Ken and I, 20 years in, are at the point where so many marriages unravel due to all of this stuff. The opportunity to recharge our relationship, discover and learn new sexual skills is adding an element of excitement and connection we haven't ever had.
I have, in the past, struggled with my body image and with food. I can't say that I ever really struggled with my weight in any big way, just thought I did. One of the ways that I deleted that struggle was to change my internal message. Instead of trying not to eat all the time, I decided and consciously told myself that I could eat whatever I wanted. Instantly, I started making food choices based on what types of food my body wants, on whether or not I was really hungry, on what feels good to eat. Stay with me here... Ken and I have done the same thing with our relationship. If you can have whatever (whomever) you want, do what ever you want, then what is left is this: what do you want? I am delighted to say that Ken is what (who) I want. I could never have a lover more emotionally safe, more adventurous, more into me than Ken. I DO NOT want to worry about STDs or whether or not another lover will look at me critically, thinking geez this lady needs a boob job and a tummy tuck. Who needs it?
And guess what, Ken's cock is actually bigger than the silky dildo.
Amaranth: See how the big dick is much more attractive when it has sex skills and
good communication behind it? Do you see his penis differently now?
Joyce: The funniest question I have EVER been asked: "Do you see his penis differently now?"
Actually, yes. It has skills, they're multiplyin'. And presence... yeah....
Joyce's take on choosing her husband over everything else when she opens up her menu, edible and sexual, to include everything, at least theoretically, would not work for everyone. However, I do like showing examples of alternative ways of wrapping your head around issues like these. I also want to note Joyce's appreciation of her freedom from STD's by building a sex life via sex life coaching with her husband. Assuming infidelity is not unknowingly present in a given relationship, breathing a sigh of relief from STD threats is a very nice perk of monogamy. That's a big reason why conservative couples have called on my work, when they have, because they come to a place where they want the exciting sex, but not the risks or compromises to their beliefs involved. I teach them the sex skills they're interested in within the safety of their marriage bubble.
Another Relationship Saved, Thanks to Sex Life Coaching!
Below is the email I received from a recent client we'll call "Melissa," who is engaged to "Travis". She completed a package of only two talk-teach sex life coaching sessions. I followed up to see how she was doing with her fiance, with whom she'd been in a relationship with for the past 6 years or so and were on schedule to be married. Melissa's email made me so happy for her and for the positive impact this work has. Read on:more
so sorry I didn't get back to you! I thought I sent a reply back to you, and as it turns out, it was saved as a draft in my cell. haha just to remedy that, I'm sending this via my computer so that won't happen again :)
Life is going well!! Things are crazy busy but my life feels more in order. Especially in the sex department. We're just more excited by each other. I'm happier with the way everythings working. I feel wanted again. I even noticed a change in other aspects of our relationship. Just the way we communicate is different. It's fantastic!
I'm hoping that once I get back my tax return that I could maybe sign up for a couple more sessions with you. I just have to see what I can realistically afford. I'm already kinda scraping all my money together to make ends meet nicely.
All that being said, I just want to thank you for all the information and help you've provided. When we first started talking I was pretty sure my relationship was going downhill fast and that there wasn't going to be much to help. All the previous discussions that happened between Travis and me about our sex life changed the whole dynamic of ourrelationship in a negative way.
Thankfully, its taken a dramatic turn for the best because of our sessions. The sessions, and definitely because of your blog entries too. I've enjoyed reading them so much. They made me fantasize again...in the way where you see/hear/read something, and you think "wow that would be fantastic to do/try". Reading your entries had me crazy turned on and in turn, transferred into my bedroom.
I hope you're doing well, and I look forward to possibly getting more sessions and learning more from you :)
I was very pleased with how quickly these two made the transition from "meh..." to "amazing!" One thing among many that Melissa and I figured out together to help things was her belief structure that it is the guy's role to initiate sex fueled by her desire for him to "take her". I said there's no problem with that intention from him, but women can feel that for their men too. I gave her a scenario to do to surprise him and it worked perfectly. Later, she got her desire to be taken because she sparked the flame in him. Our culture does a great disservice to sex lives everywhere by narrowing things down too dramatically. A healthy, exciting sex life works way outside that tiny box.
My Client said, "This is real, this is marriage/life changing."
Below is part two in this series, here is the link to part one: http://tinyurl.com/3g3slbg which documents the email communications between me and sex life coaching clients, Ken and Joyce, who are married partners. This is a great example of one way among several that I use to work with married couples, but more importantly it shows Joyce's take on the hot sex she had with her hubby that Ken wrote on in part one. You'll see her feedback to me: "This is real, this is marriage/life changing. I am excited to see Ken at the end of the day. I am in love with him again."more
Amaranth: Great account, Ken. Very good, you two, on seeing the effectiveness of the rhythm shared by your dildohead pushes and her vibrator strokes. Taking the care and attention to detail can make tremendous differences. I'll have more to go over on this sex scenario on our next session too. I noticed how Joyce used, or may have used, one of the techniques I taught her for oral sex. I saw an article in the new york times I'm going to blog on vis a vi sex enjoyment within the long term relationship. One thing I'm very interested to see is how you two do over time now that you have this level of sexual sophistication and enjoyment in place.
Ken: Joyce may want to chime in with her own point of view of that evening. She has not read my report yet. Not only has our sex life changed dramatically for the better, but we're also delighted that our observations can be used to help others through your work.
Joyce: Ken only had to tell me to watch my teeth once during the oral sex I gave him. What you told me about oral sex in this position was to not worry about it too much, just play around, which I did.
Our communication is getting better and easier. We got started unsuccessfully on the bed-in the past this would have ended up in frustration, hurt feelings and probably just giving up. It started to go there but instead we were able to just talk about it, laugh and find a surface that worked. To me this is the biggest change, that it doesn't have to be perfect, we can relax, have a sense of humor and try something else. We have never been this relaxed with each other-at least not in a very long time-or communicated about sex so well.
This is real, this is marriage/life changing. I am excited to see Ken at the end of the day. I am in love with him again.
Something to address during our next session with you: after his orgasm and the hot intercourse after, Ken was ready for bed and I could have taken on the football team. Any suggestions other than dialing up the Seahawks? :)
Ken: Actually, Eric and I discussed the Seahawks scenario.... and toys are the key. The code word is Seahawks, baby, and I'll bring in your starting line-up!
Amaranth: Very good on only one teeth call out! Congrats on understanding and loving this new way to enjoy oral sex in combination with other pleasures. Yes, there are some things you can do when you want "the football team." Keep that as a note to ask me in the next session. That's too much for email. What football team means, as Betty said once in her book, Sex For One, is the woman has a craving for lots and lots of penetrative stimulation or if not that specifically, then a seemingly endless desire for sex and sometimes more orgasms too. It doesn't have to do, 99% of the time, with having sex with multiple men one after the other. ;-) It's quantity-based desire from whoever's there. Also, good job, Ken, for going with Joyce's desires via your "gimmie the code word" thing. You didn't let your ego get in the way of her fantasy. Instead, you were ready and willing to make it more realistic, which in reality creates a hot sex game for the two of you, not just her. You can even roleplay the different football players. When it's all over, she's hugging you for the amazing sex game you just gave the two of you. Tell me how you were feeling in the "ready for bed" mode, Ken. Did your orgasm make you sleepy and cuddly or was it also late and your energy was spent? What you both wrote is beautiful and I cant wait to blog it up.
I'm well aware that not all couples have the same level of readiness or eroticism and sexual expression that Ken and Joyce have. I do not utilize the same approach with those clients. This is an example of a couple that's ready for what you see here and on the link above. I work comfortably with clients all across the sexual readiness spectrum.
Linda is orgasmic at last.
Women with sexual dysfunctions
Eric, I want to say thank you from my heart for the patience you have and brilliance. I had my big-O at long last through your guidance, I know how to do it again, and I can't wait to feel that feeling again! Looking forward to more sessions soon." -Linda (name changed)
Wendy's Brand New Orgasm
Women with sexual dysfunctions
After our sessions and practice, I've gone from no orgasms, or almost orgasms to... orgasms! and now, how many orgasms can I have and how strong can we get them! Such appreciation for you and your work, Eric. Ready for more!" --Rachel (name changed)more
Karen's Revitalized Relationship with her Husband
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
"Just an update, Eric. My husband and I are getting on so well now! The info I got from your sessions made a gradual but big difference over time. His sex interest in me and us is back! I defeintely want more sessions with you. First have to integrate what I already have from you." -Karen (name changed)
Testimonials From My Clients
Client and Private Testimonials (names changed where required. Once again, I do NOT share in sexual contact with my clients)more
Also I wanted to thank you for meeting with me today.I was nervous and
it was very comfortable and definitely helpful. I'm excited to work on
this and be excited about sex again. I'll let you know how everything
Sex life coaching gives me a whole new world of sexual freedom and
enjoyment within the boundaries of my relationship. I don't have to
choose from that dismal list of options. I can have big orgasms and
powerful sex with my husband and him with me by learning with you! Who
knew that he had a hidden erotica writing talent?! Your first session
brought that out in him. --Joyce
It was good for me to hear that I'm not "broken" -- that there are tons of options for anyone looking to improve their sex lives, regardless of personal "limitations." :) --Lucy
I learned some good skills that I will hopefully be able to put into practice soon! I also typed up all my notes so I have a nice reference sheet to refer back to! (What a Virgo!) You were very easy to talk to and I was not embarrassed or uncomfortable at all. I just wanted to say how much I admire your sex skills. You are so knowledgable and repectful of women and their bodies, which is way cool. You definitely have a gift. --Irina
May I also add I tried a sex coaching session with Eric for problem I
had with my partner, and I have seen a huge improvement in just one
session. The ideas he gave me, I have implemented. Yes, it does
require being willing to try some new things. One of the techniques he
gave me, probably the most important one, is how to talk to my partner,
something totally unexpected from a sex coach. I thought it was all
technique. I can't wait what more I will learn, hmmmm...--Wendy
I loved the session, you have a good style and it worked for me. For next week, is Wed late morning possible? Have a fantastic weekend thank you so so much --Tina
If I hadn't gotten a sense of who you are from your blog I never would have contacted you or felt you could help me, or wanted you to help me. You made me feel very safe and that is so huge for me, re: the baggage stuff I talked about during our consult. I mean I'm taking care of myself for the first time but a big part of that is allowing myself to be completely honest with you. --Eva
Google up WellandGoodNYC.com's feature article on me and my work as a sex life coach, my Wine and Chocolate Salons for Women, and also some sex advice from the Salon on how women can more easily reach orgasm. --E.A
Great first conversation! I felt comfortable talking to you about this, you have a very reassuring, warm but professional manner. Trust is essential here. I think the guided sex session first is the best plan. I need someone to keep me on task so to speak and I think a guided session will help you figure out where I need to focus. Also I know I will gloss over the steps that I'm not comfortable with or I get frustrated with and if you're there (via skype) you can help me to avoid that. I feel like a need a personal trainer, only for sex, to get me through this. On my own, I'll just give up. --Irene
Before hiring Eric, I was an avid reader of his erotica. In the end it was Eric's expertise and naturalness in the area of human sexuality that were the deciding factors in my choosing his Guided Sex option, along with the fact that he trained with Betty Dodson for over ten years. Eric's comfort with and support of his clients' pleasure can only enhance the experience of those that are ready for this powerful learning experience. During our regular talk-teaching sessions Eric answered many indirectly related sex and dating questions. All this was done over skype, which I thought would make the interaction a bit cold, but it didn't and within the first week I was recommending him to friends!" -Lisa
Working with Eric is a great experience. His extensive knowledge and experience made me feel confident and his suggestions were both practical and creative. He provides the kind of information and support that is both rare and incredibly valuable to men who are building sexual confidence with women and enjoying the kinds of sex they want the most. --Jorge
My husband and I are doing great. You certainly helped us with new ideas that work great and more importantly, with making time (longer time) for good sex mostly focused on me and my pleasure. My husband is all about that, too. For most of our marriage we didn't do that (I certainly didn't demand it), so it's great to do now! --Tina
Eric's doing a great job so far with helping me be more confident and caring with women. I love women, but had such fear when with them. That's much reduced now and dates are going much better for me. Looking forward to a night of sex with a new girlfriend. Eric covered that too. I feel so much better prepared than ever before. --Larry
d on….and on….(this is me going on and about you!) session. But seriously, for about a year now, I have been focused on putting the intimate and erotic spark back into my loooong term relationship with my husband. Since I’m not one for romantic gestures, I knew that more romance, the typical prescription, would not suit. A few good books started me down the right path, especially as I redefined myself, started to SEE myself as a sensual woman, not only a wife and mother. That was important, but until I found your practice, through enjoyment of your blog (crazy fan excitement level), I was inching along in the partner sex area. So thank you for being that super experienced advisor and confidant that I absolutely need to take my sex life where I want it to go. Also, the afore mentioned husband thanks you several times a week, in an indirect way. Well…he doesn’t scream your name or anything, but that would be weird for me ;) Enough gushing! Gotta run. I have this wonderful list of new sex things that my advisor wants me to work on…. --Rachel
Eric proved to me and supported me in accepting a vibrator as my preferred form of clitoral stimulation to orgasm. That I could love oral and sex from my husband, get very turned on from it, then when it was time for my orgasm, uptake the vibrator while he provides other hot stimulation. It fits my body's needs and no guilt from pressure to come a certain way. Also, Eric showed us how the two of us (and me by myself) can move toward manual and oral sex clitoral orgasms gradually over time. Thank you, Mr. Amaranth. :) --Jennifer
I love the better understanding of what places on my penis feel better when stimulated and stimulated the best way for me. It's made my masturbation and intercourse better at the same time. It makes it easier to know what my penis needs at this point in my life to orgasm during intercourse, which was a problem for me. I lasted forever, and women loved that, but I and they also wanted me to come in them too. Eric rocks. --Roger
a comment on my blog: "It's fantastic! I love it!! and I told all my friends about it." --Gail
Intense, groundbreaking, revealing, memorable session. Thank you! Will follow up with a technical question on something I learned last night! --Jennifer
Having Eric in my home, learning from him, felt genuine, comfortable, and exciting(!) from the very first session. --Lily
Mark and I have been wanting to improve our sex lives for a while now and Eric made it natural, showing how the pieces all fit together. Great teacher! --Michael
At first my My premature ejaculation is finally history! My girlfriend is loving life and so am I. --Arthur
We were skeptical to say the least that a straight man had anything to teach a lesbian couple in need of a resurrected lovelife. After our consultation, it was clear that Eric loves women and pursues their pleasure the same as we do. The results were far greater than we expected. He knew more about p***y and what to do with it than we did, but not anymore, after hiring him. ;) --Kim
On the way home now... magical weekend, Eric. Thank you. --Sandra
My second month learning with eric and the new discoveries in myself and my husband (and new pleasures) just keep on coming! --Sandra
Thank you so much for your time and energy while working with me. You were extremely patient with me and my frustrations, and you impressed me with your wealth of information and ideas. You offered options that I'd never considered, and you certainly were willing to give me whatever time was necessary for me to understand your suggestions and ask questions. --Jocelyn
My husband and I are sexually experienced and we had no idea how eye opening your information would be especially in regards to the physiology of good sex and the strength and impact of your techniques. You were right that we may have gone for years never discovering these things, or taking forever to find them on our own. --Rachel
Thanks Eric. We were very pleased with our sessions with you. Far above expectations. You're very impressive at what you do. I'd love to hear your thoughts on places we might want to venture next! You're a lifechanger! --Sandra
"I want to thank you again for our conference call this morning and tell you that it was a very beneficial start to my 'awakening,' shall we say. You clarified the basic questions I had and helped me understand some new things. I also appreciate your last statement about recognizing my own emotions within what I would call an energy exchange with someone new. I made a conscious decision when I decided to talk to you. It was scary because you are tied to sex and eroticism and I have never allowed myself to fully open up and stay in that place very long. But now I have spoken to you and it was fine. I can speak further with you sometime. So, thank you and until we speak again!" --Cynthia
Eric, something you explained to me in our session-that it is wonderful to pamper a penis little bit longer in a woman's mouth after you have ejaculated into her mouth. This has just been confirmed to me by my email lover. He said that he is that imagining right now, how I would pamper him in this way. I don't think many women think to do this-? Eric, you helped me understand a very important connection between a man's body and heart. Having said that, I would hope for the same caring pampering between my legs. -Reiko Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that with the communication I had left with him last time and a bit of fantasy --- I had some bliss last weekend .... So it was very good !!! Thanks so much for helping me create it around fun and not accomplishment ... :D -Katherine
Hot and Heartwarming Email from A Couple-Client
Here is an email exchange between me and my client, Rachel, whom I blogged on in the past. It's telling me all about their first time playing with dominance and submission plus bondage after Rachel did a notetaking session with me to plan for it and one other type of scene. She bounced her ideas off me and I gave her my guidance and adjustments to her scenes. She also bought a book for bondage including sex. The results were a major breakthrough in their sexual dynamic. Hopefully she'll write erotica about it and let me post. Her husband Oren has been absent from our sessions, not comfortable to be there, and apprehensive when Rachel began with me. Not anymore: Rachel: Definitely want to get on your schedule. Mid June timing will be I little harder for me to schedule since the kids are out of school and around during the day. I will work it out and get back to you. Oren will join - 95% sure - he's just so shy about sharing. I think he's finally seeing the light with the recent fantasy/dom play you helped me with. It took him off guard. When I told him I had a surprise, I think he expected something more extreme. He knows I can get carried away. Thanks to you for talking me down a bit :) Turned out well for both of us. I keep meaning to try and write it up. It's also a good thing you pushed me to separate the bondage and spanking from the fantasy initially. It would have been too much. So, as we packed for our getaway, I finally just presented him with the ropes and the bondage book you sent + another dom book I had purchased. He flipped though the bondage book, thought it was sexy, and seemed receptive. We discussed who would be tied up and it was clear that he wanted to take the lead. YEAH! I was thrilled that he would take that on because lately it's been all me taking a more assertive roll in the bedroom. That's kind of what I've done our entire relationship, in many aspects of our lives. Good or bad, it's the reality of our power structure, and we've been generally comfortable with it. So...we did the bondage the first night of our trip. He used the most basic of the knots around my ankles, then used the tape you personal sex shopped around my wrists (ropes are SO much better, I need 2 more!). Once I was tied up, truly bound, the vibe completely changed. Amazing to me that the reality of physical restraint seemed to give him permission to use his assertive side. I've talked and talked to him about being more assertive, but he didn't act on it until I was bound and unable to do anything but submit! Wonderful results. At one point he actually straddled me and fucked by mouth. *sigh* I had requested this in the past and he had given me the, "You're crazy..." look. He ended by taking me in the missionary position, using an superbly aggressive fuck stroke. Seeing and hearing him experience his release like that...talk about getting me worked up. As he cleaned us both and released me, I gave him some of my best ego stroking dirty talk. Then he make good use of his mouth all over my pussy, rewarding me with a super deep come. Onward...For our next Skype call, especially if Oren joins, I would like to go through your anal sex method. We need to improve our technique. Amaranth: wow. :)) So -happy- for you! You have to write this up for me to put on my blog as an erotica client-success story. And to immortalize for your memories. May I post this email exchange to my blog? Names changed? Rachel: Feel free to use. yes, the role reversal was totally in play. An example of good sex really stripping us bare, then building us back up, refreshed. Where the fuck was my head in my 30's, just totally ignoring this basic human connection with him, putting it so low on my priority list? I'm looking forward to the weekend when I can take the time to write up our first experience with the doctor fantasy you helped me with, the second afternoon of our trip.... Amaranth: When I was reading sex self help books way back in my teens, I noticed a pattern in people saying things like this. "I wish I'd have known this in my 20's 30's 40's, 30 years ago, ten years ago," etc. I remember the moment in one of those bookstores when I looked at my present place in life, my teens, and I said to myself that I would not allow that fate to befall me. I was in the perfect place. A makeshift time machine, as it were. No time lost! It was also one of the things that made me want to help people's sex lives. I had never come across anything so dramatic before, besides smoking or drugs for example, that made people wish they could go back in time and do it differently.
My Youngest Woman Client's Glowing Feedback
This email from 22 yr old "Rebecca" (name changed) made my day. I was sitting on my workout bench at my mentor Betty's place when I read this on my blackberry. Putting to words the feelings a letter like this stirs in me is difficult.... It's several emotions blended together. The best I can do to describe it is, the thrill of erasing a little suffering from the face of the planet. Hi there, Eric. :) So I'm finally getting around to writing this-- I've been pretty busy working and setting things up here in Vermont-- everything is going well though. I hope things are well with you too! I figure I will just write as though I'm speaking to you (which I am) and you can cut and paste whatever you want to use for your blog. Hope this helps! I mean it all! I want to thank you for the time we spent together. Meeting with you, I don't think I even fully understood why I was doing it-- or maybe it was that there were too many reasons to comprehend or get across-- but when I met and spoke with you, I knew that it didnt matter, that you could help with whatever I wanted to talk about and whatever I wanted to do. That's probably what I liked best about our meetings, is that they weren't really sex focused (though there defintely was that :) ) they were life focused. You gave me advice on relationships, on seduction, on power-dynamics and protecting yourself in and out of the bedroom. We talked about health, happiness, and so much in between. The other thing I really loved is that you made me feel incredibly comfortable. Sex is not an easy subject to talk about. Having an open discourse about it without being judged or misunderstood, is extremely liberating. I think you have an amazing ability to be both professional and warm at the same time. I learned such an incredible amount from you-- an incredible amount! It is truly information that everyone should know. It also made me realize that I have so much more learn-- and I hope to keep learning. You were great about making time for me-- especially seeing as our time was limited. Did I mention that I also just had a lot of fun in the sessions? I wish I had met you sooner! But I am so thankful for all our sessions. I would suggest them to anyone and everyone. I hope we keep in touch!! Thank you Thank you Thank you! Rebecca
Tina's Increased Confidence with Singles Sex
Hey Eric, am back from Asia. I just wanted to tell you the session I had with you before I left in May was worth it so much :)) thank you! Not only from a oral sex on men-skills point of view, but just my headspace as far as a sex with a new partner, I wouldn't have freed up my thinking if it hadn't been for your advice and blogs, which kind of prompted a shift in personal ideas and thereby enriched a whole part of the adventure. Even better stuff came from that. Too lengthy to explain but it was really empowering. Thank you!! Tina
Rachel and Oren's Married-Sex Life Transformation
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
Here is an email exchange I had with a client, of mine (we'll call her "Rachel") after she'd just sent me her best erotica offering yet based on the new sex life she and her husband of over 20 years, "Oren," are having now after having been my clients for the past 8 months or so. It starkly contrasts her sex-starved and angished past with her vibrant present. I've posted Rachel's erotica, with her permission, on my official blog, www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/eric-amaranth. Amaranth: This may be the best you've written so far. Now, just step back for a moment and look back at how you and Oren were when you werent having this level of sex life. Before you started working with me. It seems like another life that's dead and gone, doesn't it? Like a dream maybe? Look at what youre doing together now! What do you think about that?! Rachel: Dead and gone. I feel like I'm still running a bit, not quite distanced enough from it yet. I really can't describe how odd it feels to look back and see now that I was completely suppressing my sexuality. I had taken Oren down that wrong headed path with me as well. It's a path that I think is unfortunately reinforced by social norms. You know, the message that a marriage can be strong, and should be fulfilling, without a passionate sex life. It's was the idea that giving into sex was making me a submissive little wife, because only men had a real need for sex. Therefore a woman who indulged her man like that was by default subjugating herself to him. Working with you to explore and develop my sexual self, what I and my body is actually capable of, has really rebalanced our sex life, and our marriage. So many past mistakes, so glad they're in the past. I still make them....like not paying for express shipping on that great new buttplug that you suggested ;) Amaranth: I'd love to post this as part of me putting up this latest erotica from you, my replies etc. My reply to this is, see how the issue of only men need sex and women don't implodes once a woman (and her partner) understands how to create the same pleasure expectation, or better, as the male partner? It's a profound example of a monumental problem created by sexual ignorance and also, a bi-product of fears and situationally-negative possibilities when female sexuality gets its equal due when compared to the due given to male. Rachel: Yes, yes, that's it! As a group, our sexual expectations as women are so low and our ignorance is too high when it comes to how our sexuality works and how we have to engage it differently then our guys do. That's where I think Betty was so helpful for me. It was only after resetting my expectations and my understanding of what the physical facts around my arousal where, really owning my sex parts, that I could benefit from all the stuff you and I have worked on together. And I also had be be willing to communicate to Oren what I needed from him. Retraining him if you will. I had to be willing to pull him along and not expect him to just know what would work for me. And since I'm so focused on the new territory of parenting my teens these days, everything that I'm learning about myself instantly becomes a dilemma that I must face on what and how I want to relate to my kids. Our culture, and especially parents with good intentions, often focus on controlling the activities and situation our kids are in to help them avoid their sexuality until they are "ready." It's out of pregnancy fears, mostly I think. (I'm going to ignore the whole sex is only OK in marriage reason since very few, if any, of the women that I know, who went to college in the late eighties, followed that rule) So, fear of pregnancy makes it hard for us to educate them on the basics of how female sexual pleasure works, because we think that talking about it would lead to experimenting, and then disaster. So they leave us at 17 or 18, hopefully not having been pregnant, but definitly ignorant of how the female body works to achieve sexual pleasure. At 18, we send them off with them freedom and ignorance. That combo just screams: "Take advantage of me so I have a poor experience with my early sex life. As I mature, I will probably decide sex is not for me!" So by 18, if our kids can't even answer a simple questions on female sexual function like, "Why is it that the majority women can not orgasm from penetration alone?" then we can guarantee the continuation of sexual ignorance. -Fin