What do men REALLY think?
Very few things are as confusing as the link between what we think is beautiful, our self-image and our sexuality. What each of us perceives as beautiful or sexy is as varied as what you might eat for dinner. The biggest myth about finding love is that there is some perfect set of rules that leads to success. And this is just not true. No one is perfect. Pretty people and plain people alike struggle to find love and no one is immune to fears about ending up alone.
Unfortunately, many people they struggle with this and mistakenly believe that a lack of love comes from their appearance—that there is something on the outside that is missing. If they can only "fix" that mystery thing, then love will flock their way.
Today, we're looking at beauty myths that prevent women from finding love. Take a look and see if any of these mistaken beauty beliefs are at the core of what's keeping you from finding the love of your life:
Myth #1: Men only care about women's looks.
It's a greatly mistaken belief that men are all looking to settle down with life-size Barbie dolls and don't want anything less. The truth is that most men don't care as much as you might imagine. If a man connects with you, your body is one of the elements he's interested in, but there are many others that matter just as much if not more.
If you're struggling with this belief, practice being confident in who you are and showing it through the way you present yourself. The way you dress and how you speak about yourself can show men that you see yourself as an attractive woman and that confidence is infectious. According to the womenshealth.gov website, having a "positive body image is crucial to a woman's happiness and wellness." Stay focused on thinking good thoughts about your body and watch your self-esteem, confidence and overall outlook improve.
Myth #2: To get a man, you have to be PERFECT.
A second myth is that women think they have to look perfect for a man (ie. be all dolled up, covered in make up, hair done, etc). Again, not true! Men love women who can show their "water and soap" face. It tells a man that the woman is confident and is not afraid to show who she really is. This is very important when building a relationship as it shows authenticity and openness, which fosters trust and comfort around the opposite sex.
Myth #3: Men only want skinny women.
A third myth is that men only like skinny women. According to askmen.com, men are not attracted a woman who is too skinny because she has a higher infertility rate and has less of the attributes that men love, like the breasts and the bum. Men love curves.
Myth #4: Men only stay with skinny women.
Another pervasive myth is that to keep a man, you but be uber-fit or else he'll wander. One of our Experts Pamela Madsen, shared this about her personal journey to self acceptance: "While writing my book, I learned that it was all about connecting and loving my body just as it was first. Once I was able to do that, sexuality radiated from me like shooting stars. Nothing else changed but my ability to feel sexy in my own body. Once that happened, doors opened and held as I swished my plus-size bottom right through them."
If weight were what kept men around, celeb women would never be left or cheated on—and we all know that's not true!
Myth #5: You're not pretty enough to find love.
If you don't think you're pretty, he won't either. It's time to change how you feel about the way you look. Make the most of your assets and he will see you as an asset. Most men will choose a confident woman over a non-confident woman, no matter how great she looks. There are few things more beautiful on a woman than confidence.
Myth #6: Plastic surgery is the only way to get the love you want.
Nothing can hold us back more from finding and keeping love than the belief that if we fix the outside we will make someone love us more.
Dr. Bart Rademaker, board certified plastic surgeon and owner of Rejuva Center and Medi Spa said, "It always makes me feel so sad when women come in hoping that plastic surgery can fix their relationships or even save a marriage. And I have had women say to me as they have wheeled into the surgi-center, 'I hope this works, I need to save my marriage.' When I hear that, I know that trouble is just around the bend. Plastic surgery can create more self-confidence, self-esteem and can truly help a woman feel more sexy. That is where the magic lies, in the feeling more sexy! And feeling sexy and more beautiful can absolutely help improve anyone's relationships and sex life! But it can only really help a healthy relationship, Plastic Surgery is not a solution to fixing a relationship that is on the rocks."
Myth #7: He wants you dressed to the nines.
Not so. If you're going out on a date, opt for "nice-casual" attire. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard. Furthermore, if your outfit is the focal point of the date, the guy might feel not smitten but intimidated. Men are looking for substance. You can put effort into looking nice for the date, but if you think a guy won't like you because you're wearing the wrong shoes, you might not want to date him anyway. Again, it goes back to confidence. Women who wear it radiate strength, allure and passion. When a woman knows who she is and what she wants out of life, she becomes magnetic.
Wiping these myths away from your thinking takes time—and practice. Undoing mistaken beliefs isn't about beating yourself up for ever having thought them, it's about replacing them with supportive, positive understanding of yourself, your world and what true love really is all about.