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• Nicaria, Thankfully, I can't relate to the betrayal of having a partner have a child with another person. However, I do understand the complete frustration of a break in trust. Before you can re-build the trust, you need to make sure this is all out in the open. Sometimes, we equate "give it another chance" with "sweep it under the rug." The best way to give the relationship another chance is to really look at what happened, why it happened, for him to be completely honest, and for him to take responsibility for his choices. Often, the partner has betrayed the other person really wants to just sweep it under the rug and go back into the honeymoon period. It is SO important that you ask your questions now, share your emotions, work it out NOW. If you don't- it will just keep creeping into every fight you have for the next twenty years! Once you have the full story, a clear plan of how to avoid this in the future, then it is time to let it go and forgive. Here is one fun book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Can-Forgive-You-Courage/dp/0060009314/ref=pd_sim_b_4 I do definitely recommend forgiveness as a part of your journey, whether the relationship works out or not. You do NOT want to carry all of this stress around for the rest of your life! Miranda Palmer, LMFT http://counselingmodesto.com SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: infidelity

• Every marriage can go through struggles and droughts. it is also normal for members of a couple to have different needs sexually. I get the sense that you guys haven't really talked about all of this and come up with a way to negotiate this area of your life- which is the biggest red flag. It is hard to know if it is too late. My recommendation would be to look for a counselor that specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. In clinical studies it has a 70% success rate. It will help with communication, emotional connection, and your sex life at the same time! While you are looking for someone to help you guys negotiate this issue and improve your relationship, pick up the book Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. It is an excellent read and has real activities and questionnaires (women love those!) that you can use with your partner. SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Passion in Marriage

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